Supervillain calls out Phoenix Jones in video

Seattle, prepare for a super showdown.

Local supervillain, “Rex Velvet,” has created a video in which he calls out Seattle superhero “Phoenix Jones.” The showdown is expected to be the city’s biggest battle between good and evil.

“This video is an invitation for Phoenix Jones to unmask himself,” Velvet said. “All this play time needs to end.”

Velvet said he has many of problems with Jones, starting with his birthday. 

“We were born on the same day,” Velvet said. “Let’s just say he went one way and I went the other.”

Jones’ vow to fight crime in the city also gets under Velvet’s skin.

“I’m sick of the news coverage,” he said. “There are lots of legitimate folks just like me who want to see the idiot off the street. He’s causing a ruckus.”

Velvet gets inspiration for his evildoing from villains of the past and from monthly Social Villain Alliance meetings.  During the meetings, fellow supervillains gather in a secret location to plot mischief and glean evil ideas from each other. Velvet said retired villains often attend the meetings to show their younger counterparts a thing or two.

“The Riddler is often best, but now he’s a drunkard,” Velvet said.

The meetings also serve as a place for evil fun and camaraderie. Supervillains are often kept off the social guestlists.

“No one wants to invite a social villain to the party,” Velvet said. “There’s not enough Skrillex or Dub Step at a villain party.” 

To prepare for the super showdown, Velvet has been training an army of evil cats.

“They are coming for Phoenix Jones and will claw him to an insanely ridiculous level,” Velvet said.

And what if the call to arms goes unanswered by Jones?

“There will be another video 10 times more sinister,” Velvet said. “Phoenix Jones is the leader of the Rain City dog and pony show. The vigilantes are nothing more than a bunch of nerds parading around in their mothers' tights.”

Fans of supervillain Rex Velvet can follow him and his evil plans at facebook.com/RexVelvet or via Twitter @rexvelvet