An IQ Test For ELF Members

An IQ Test For ELF Members

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Story Published: Apr 22, 2004 at 12:18 PM PDT

Story Updated: Aug 31, 2006 at 1:28 AM PDT

By Ken Schram

Watch the story
SEATTLE - I've put together an IQ test for ELF members.

ELF stands for Earth Liberation Front, an extremist group disguised as environmentalists.

ELF is suspected of burning down some new homes under construction up near Snohomish.

It's the same group that claimed responsibility for burning down the UW's Center for Urban Horticulture a couple of years ago.

Anyway, I figure ELF is made up of people who are so dumb they need 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.

How else can you explain people who set out to protect the forests by burning homes, thereby forcing more trees to be cut down so the homes can be rebuilt.

They define success at preserving, by destroying.

They pollute the air with smoke and chemicals and proclaim the environment as their cause.

If that doesn't define dumb, I don't know what does.

So, in an effort for ELF leaders to recruit more intelligent followers -- in hopes that will lead to much more intelligent choices -- I've devised a short IQ test.

It's simple and it's inexpensive.

Buy a bag of ordinary M&M's.

Alphabetize the contents.

That should keep them busy for a while.

Want to share your thoughts with Ken Schram? You can e-mail him at kenschram@komo4news.com

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