Running With Scissors? Throw 'Em In Jail!

Running With Scissors? Throw 'Em In Jail!

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Story Published: Jul 3, 2006 at 12:33 PM PDT

Story Updated: Aug 31, 2006 at 8:30 AM PDT

By Ken Schram

SEATTLE - I think playgrounds should be outlawed.

I mean, every year more than 200,000 children get rushed to hospital emergency rooms after being hurt on a playground.

And stairs!

Tens of thousand of kids fall down stairs every year.

When you think of all the broken arms, sprained wrists and bloody noses, I think you will agree that stairs are far too much of a hazard to remain legal.

I believe that if we're going to continue seeing cities banning fireworks, I figure we may as well have a full nanny-government response to everything and anything that poses a risk to life and limb.

Running with scissors?

Illegal.

Jumping on a trampoline.

Make it a felony.

I know, some people think I'm just being ridiculous.

How could I possibly compare the dreaded bottle rocket with a swing set?

Easy.

I can make a twisted statistical case for dangers that lurk in every home and on every street corner.

I can talk about dumb behavior and inattentive parents.

I could point out that more people get hurt in bathtubs and on ladders than by shooting off fireworks.

So: If all those elected ninnies insist on being our nannies and banning fireworks, well, I insist that playgrounds should be next.

Want to share your thoughts with Ken Schram? You can e-mail him at kenschram@komo4news.com

And be sure to catch Ken Schram and John Carlson on their new radio show, "THE COMMENTATORS." Airing Monday through Friday, from 10 till noon on KOMO 1000, Ken and John will be delving into news of the day offering their own particular brand of insight and perspective - with a healthy dose of irreverence and humor thrown in for good measure.

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