Hard-bargaining cellphone thieves and 11 other one-sentence crimes

SEATTLE -- While all crimes certainly have an impact on the victims and perpetrators, not every one is deserving of its own story. But, that doesn't mean they aren't worth a few words. Here are some of July's crimes in one sentence.

July 1 in Seattle: A victim tried offering a cheaper cellphone to the men trying to steal his iPhone in the Roxhill neighborhood, but the men just ended up taking both, according to the Seattle Police Department's report for the incident.

July 1 in Lakewood: A shoplifter was caught stuffing purses into her purse, according to charges filed in Pierce County Superior Court.

July 1 in Seattle: A car full of teenagers shot a BB gun at a pedestrian in Ballard, missing the victim but hitting the side of a church, according to the Seattle Police Department's report for the incident.

July 4 in Seattle: A man reportedly stole a $2,000 purse from a downtown business before driving off in a white Mercedes Benz.

July 5 in Tacoma: A shoplifter attempted to coolly open a pocket knife with a flick of his wrist but ended up accidentally throwing the knife across the store instead, according to charges filed in Pierce County Superior Court.

July 5 in Bonney Lake: An arrested copper thief blamed the crime on a man named "Toney Maloney," according to charges filed in Pierce County Superior Court.

July 5 in Tacoma: A man gave new meaning to the old slogan "gellin' like a felon" by shoplifting shoe inserts, according to charges filed in Pierce County Superior Court.

July 6 in Pierce County: A driver was charged with throwing a candy bar at a bicyclist then hitting him with his truck.

July 6 in Fife: A one-legged man reportedly claimed to have designed the Emerald Queen Casino before angrily demanding to know if it was a crime to dangle his one leg over the railing of a bridge.

July 6 in Tacoma: Officers checking out a man who seemed "a little off" discovered he stole his grandparents' van, according to charges filed in Pierce County Superior Court.

July 8 in Lakewood: A woman told officers she stole a jacket from one consignment store and resold it to another consignment store for $24 because she and her boyfriend are unable to find jobs, according to charges filed in Pierce County Superior Court.

July 9 in Moses Lake: The Sheriff warned farmers and cattlemen to be vigilant over the ongoing thefts of livestock corral panels.

For more one-sentence crimes, follow Michael Harthorne on Twitter @MHarthorneKOMO.