J.J. Abrams to produce Lance Armstrong biopic

The following preview is rated DM, Demoralized Audiences, by the Motion Picture Society.

 

[LaFontaine Voice] In a world where competitive cycling means high stakes

 

[Armstrong] What? Everyone else is doing it!

 

[Crow] Lance?

 

[Armstrong] Yes Cheryl?

 

[Crow] I have breast cancer.

 

[Armstrong] I'm leaving you.

 

[Armstrong] I DIDN'T CHEAT - YOU CHEATED - I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!

 

[Reporter] Sir, we have someone willing to come forward.

 

[Armstrong] If you do this the whole sport will come down like a house of cards.

 

[Armstrong] I never doped in my life.

 

[Judge] this court finds you guilty of libeling Mr. Armstrong, and order you to pain a penalty of...

 

[Announcer in front of cheering crowd] Lance Armstrong, founder of the Live Strong Foundation (cheers)

 

[French accented bike competitor] The world needs to know what a fraud he is.

 

[Voice of sports announcer over TV] Lance Armstrong has just won his seventh jersey...

 

[Armstrong] If the world finds out I'm a raisin sacked fraud, what will I do next...

 

[LaFountaine Voice] The Lance Armstrong Story, the Quest for More Money, by J.J. Abrams staring Phillip Seymour Hoffman as Lance Armstrong, and featuring Seth McFarlane as the voice of the testicle.

 

[Armstrong] I'm going to beat this cancer and go on to win...

 

[LaFountaine Voice] The Lance Armstrong Story, the Quest for More Money - coming soon!

I would have Jon Lovitz play the leas......"ya', that's it!"

here's a lesson for all you kids out there   lying, cheating and doping makes your nuts fall off, but you'll make bank

I'm disgusted by the fact that they're going to make a movie about him in the first place. His entire empire was built on strength, character, will and determination, and it all turned out to be a farce. People all over the world looked up to him for beating cancer, and going on to do great things. Now that it's all been proven to be a lie, I can't see how anyone could justify paying him money for the rights to do a movie about his life. I personally, think all of the money made from this biopic should go to the guys who were cheated out of a Tour De France win by the "great" Lance Armstrong.

The legacy of a cheater is that you can accomplish alot by selling your

soul!  Again, which came first, the doping or the cancer? Hmmmmmm......!?

Wow, He got ball to do this kind of film.