Local mom banned from Facebook over controversial photo
SEATTLE -- A local mom is outraged after getting temporarily banned from Facebook over a photo she says is completely innocent.
The photo in question shows Lauren Ferrari's 5-year-old daughter pretending to nurse her 2-year-old sister.
Facebook says it violates the company's community standards, but Ferrari disagrees.
"It's not sexual and they were just pretending," she said. "What's obscene about breastfeeding?"
Ferrari didn't think much of it when she uploaded the photo of her two daughters for all her Facebook friends to see.
"When I posted it I said, 'She says she's nursing her baby,'" Ferrari said. "She didn't say, 'Mommy look, she's kissing my boobie.'"
Less than 24-hours later, the image was gone, with message from Facebook claiming Ferrari violated the site's policies.
"They did not say it was child pornography," she said. "They were not clear, they were really vague."
Stefanie Thomas of the Seattle Police Department's Internet Crimes Against Children agrees the photo isn't child porn, but she said it's poor parenting on Ferrari's part. She points to the fact that there's no control over who sees the photo and whose hands it ends up in.
"There's no real way of actually getting wherever that image ends up down off the Internet. So that's something that this family, that these girls, are going to have to ultimately deal with," Thomas said.
After the photo was taken down, Ferrari learned she'd been banned from Facebook for seven days.
"I just wish someone would have actually talked to me and asked a question or something. I just felt it was very harsh," she said.
An official from Facebook said the company doesn't comment on its policies.
The photo in question shows Lauren Ferrari's 5-year-old daughter pretending to nurse her 2-year-old sister.
Facebook says it violates the company's community standards, but Ferrari disagrees.
"It's not sexual and they were just pretending," she said. "What's obscene about breastfeeding?"
Ferrari didn't think much of it when she uploaded the photo of her two daughters for all her Facebook friends to see.
"When I posted it I said, 'She says she's nursing her baby,'" Ferrari said. "She didn't say, 'Mommy look, she's kissing my boobie.'"
Less than 24-hours later, the image was gone, with message from Facebook claiming Ferrari violated the site's policies.
"They did not say it was child pornography," she said. "They were not clear, they were really vague."
Stefanie Thomas of the Seattle Police Department's Internet Crimes Against Children agrees the photo isn't child porn, but she said it's poor parenting on Ferrari's part. She points to the fact that there's no control over who sees the photo and whose hands it ends up in.
"There's no real way of actually getting wherever that image ends up down off the Internet. So that's something that this family, that these girls, are going to have to ultimately deal with," Thomas said.
After the photo was taken down, Ferrari learned she'd been banned from Facebook for seven days.
"I just wish someone would have actually talked to me and asked a question or something. I just felt it was very harsh," she said.
An official from Facebook said the company doesn't comment on its policies.
Ferrari should get over herself, facebook itself does not monitor every picture that is posted it is usally reported by a friend or friend of a friend. Farrari was stupid enough to post what she and quite a few sane ppl out there would consider a cute and harmless (but it is a  Private moment tat was left for the whole world to see)And Stephanie thomas is absolutely right And that the cyber world includes having a lot of pervs and pedophiles.Who's not to say these pics wont be copied and passed around as some fetish by the pervs out there. Its perphaps why her frnds may have reported it 'as crossing the line' or "inappropriate"..Farrari just seems to me, to be real immature hot headed mom, how craves for attention. if it bothered so much then she should have closed her absolutely FREE account on Facebook. Her anger and reaction is simply blown way out of proportion. On a different yes it is really cute pic and not sexual in anyway. BUT yeah tell it to the pervs out there, she could possibly set her or her kids for some psycho stalker. God forbid that should happen to anyone.
Stefanie Thomas is hot but brain dead. Â The people at facebook are just brain dead.
 @Dave Knight Ferrari should get over herself, facebook itself does not monitor every picture that is posted it is usally reported by a friend or friend of a friend. Farrari was stupid enough to post a cute and harmless but Private moment pic for the whole world to see. And that world includes pervs and pedophiles. Its perphaps why her frnds may have reported as crossing the line.Farrari just seems to me to be a real immature hot headed mom, how craves for attention. if it bothered so much then she should have closed her FREE account on Facebook. Her anger and reaction is simply blown way out of proportion. On a different yes it is really cute pic and not sexual in anyway. BUT tell it to the pervs out there.Â
Looking at the photo again, With no subtext, no pre-knowledge of the children's  activities. I see two kids laughing, and 1 trying to blow raspberries on the others belly. If the child was sitting with her in her lap as you would cradle feed a baby looking down at her sister while she pretended to feed her then. yeah.
But C'mon people It's not dirty, its just something mom should have just emailed her closest friends and family or placed in an album with privacy setting just for her family and close friends. Not a Public Post.Â
You gotta know this is dumb, what with all of the wierdos out there.
@MikeG I agree. There is another story out today about a woman who made a breast feeding video and someone used it to make porn. No matter how innocent something may be, there are sickos with weird fetishes that can turn it bad so easily.
Man, if this is considered "bad parenting", people must not get out much. Take a walk in your local mall and listen to all the horrible people with children. Motivates me to be that much better...
Everyone has gotten so anal retentive about sex and kids now days they see a woman changing a diaper or breast feeding as sexual now days. The only thing sexual in those and many other actions such as the one pictured above is in the dirty little minds of people, not the kids. Children do many things like you show me yours and I'll show you mine. That is not sex it is only non sexual children exploring them selves. This "every deed is sex" attitude is sick of the worst kind and only infects others into thinking the world revolves around sex. Get a life people and take a break. Not everything is built for sex and the dirty side of it is in your minds.
 @LongBeachBum i just wished to clarify if you thought that Facebook was wrong in what they had done. Are you supporting farrari's action.Personally I absolutely agree that the picture taken was absolutely innocent and adorable. But facebook did not say its pornography it said as per its guidelines its inappropriate, AND facebook spans over a million users worldwide, it does not have a bunch of ppl individually scanning through everyones pictures. Some one on her frnds lists or extended frnds lists would have reported it as "inappropriate." And she has apparently made that picture public. Its just interesting to me that PPL do not stop to think for a moment "i think this is really cute, but could my post be misused or offensive in some way" In an ideal utopic world sure no harm done. BUT DO we live in such a world. We all know the amount of cybercrimes and pedophiles out there, She could have even made her kids the target of some perv who is stalks on the net. Seriously she needs to get over herself and quit blowing things out of proportion.Â
That photo is disturbing, and I am a mother of three who proudly breast fed, even in public.Â
 @Kacie Riley You seriously must be sick in the head there is nothing disturbing or DIRTY in that pic. absolutely innocent.However i would there not post this on the net. So that it may be misused or pass thru the hands of pervs onlineÂ
 @Kacie Riley Either you have a sick mind or no mind. I have seen kids playing like that since I was a kid and there is nothing sexual in it at all. The only thing sexual is in you dirty mind. Better take it out and wash it.
Okay Mom~~ I get it --- as a mother for more than 23 years the photo is over the top for the times we live in today. Parenting starts with making the RIGHT decisions for our children this is NOT something we can play around with so many sick folks out here... Â - There's some sick people in this world nothing seems INNOCENT-
Disturbing.Â
The Seattle Police Department owes Lauren Ferrari an apology. Since when does a police officer get to chastise a mother in a public forum for "bad parenting." There is no crime here. Ms. Ferrari's decision to post an image on Facebook of her children emulating normal mothering and nurturing has many, many defenders. Shame on the Seattle Police Department, and shame on KOMO for editing this story to further victimize Ms. Ferrari. She has already been harassed, intimidated, and bullied by Facebook. Now KOMO and the Seattle Police Department are further victimizing Ms. Ferrari. I hope Seattle residents will write to the police chief to complain and to call for a public apology.
 @Jodine Chase Hardly!  It's about time the breast feeding militia gets reigned in.
 @Jodine Chase I wish more people would chastise people for making bad decisions than just saying "YOU ARE A PARENT, EVERYTHING YOU DO IS RIGHT!" Â
I have been Laurenâs friend for over 5 years now. It does not seem possible that it could be that long. I have never met Lauren in real life because we have never lived close enough in proximity to each other to make that happen. We met in a Yahoo Group and when the great migration to Facebook started Lauren and I found each other there too. The group kind of split in two, but Lauren has always been a constant source of support; realistic, informed, educated support for me, and for anyone else she comes into contact with, IRL or online. I went through a horrific situation almost 2 ½ years ago, Lauren was integral to helping me weather the storm that brought into my life. Her kindness, generosity, and actual interest in how I was helped me remember some things that are integral to survival. When I was thrown to rock bottom Lauren took an active part in helping me stand up and brush off the dirt.
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Lauren is not the kind of backwoods, uneducated, granola eating mouth breather so many of you are making her out to be. I am not trying to change your mind on what you think of the picture she chose to post, which showed up in my newsfeed and made me smile because her beautiful girls are so lucky to have a mom like Lauren. I have snickered at parents that I found to be inferior in the skill of raising kids, the ones (I have included myself a few times) that make me shake my head and say, âThey never should have had children.â Lauren creates a different reaction. I have never seen anyone more suited to motherhood than Lauren. She inspires me to be a better parent. Her children are a joy to watch grow up through Facebook. If someone were to ask me to describe Lauren, as a friend who happens to love every bit of her and knows more about her than a 5 minute biased and unfair mainstream media bit, I would start with dedicated, to her family, her husband, her children, herself, her friends, the vulnerable, and her God (not necessarily in that order). Lauren is dedicated to giving of herself in everything she does, selflessly, and with no less than full capacity love. Lauren will defend you fairly and take time to understand your point-of-view without passing lasting judgments. Lauren is passionate about everything she holds important in her life, including the right to not live in a way that is dictated by fear of what could happen, which is why she posted the picture, and why I choose to post pictures that make people uncomfortable too; we donât think the way you do about the world; we donât want to think like you about the world. Lauren and I use Facebook as a main way of connecting with our global support network, not only receiving support but also giving it. That support network becomes family very quickly.Â
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In some of your opinions you have said you disagree with what Lauren decided to do and you have decided that because of one opinion about a woman you have never had a relationship with, you know everything there is to know about her in order to make a harsh and uneducated proclamation of what kind of monster she is and what her motives are. She is definitely not âlooking for money.â You have a right to your opinion, no one disputes that. You have the right to express that opinion in a public forum, also not disputing that. Facebook has the right to remove her privileges in a move that screams of hypocrisy, not disputing. Everyone has rights all over the place in this situation. Some of you have exclaimed for the rights of Laurenâs children, like the right to not be depicted in situations that could be construed as sexual by people who are sick enough to construe innocence and developmental mimicry as sexual. I want the right to live in a world where fear doesnât dictate how my children learn about trust. Trust is a fundamental building block and to raise children with the fear of child molesting rapists as the norm is harmful.Â
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Lauren didnât do anything wrong, she did something lots of people disagree with and would not choose to do themselves. I am proud of Lauren for standing up for what she feels was unfair and targeted mistreatment. Being Laurenâs friend for so long I know exactly what opinion she holds on Facebookâs history of banning and deleting breastfeeding mothers and groups that pose pictures of children being the opposite of neglected. There are vulnerable minors (aka hungry babies) involved in those pictures too.Â
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Hey Lauren, I think you are awesome and that you made the right decision in posting the picture and for standing up for what you believe in publicly. I will see you in a few more days. *Mwah*
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Sarah
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You are more penpals than friends.
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Did you encourage her to contact KOMO News because she was banned from a social media sight for one week?
So... by creating all of this media publicity naturally you are making it so that less people see this picture... oh wait I probably would never have seen this picture if they didn't just plaster it all over the news... great thinking people, really good.
You know what? Â Being a mother is very challenging, and for all of you to sit there and criticize this woman for doing something innocent, but albeit ill advised, and calling out her parenting skills is just sickening. Â I'm so tired of this mother bashing BS, she is with her kids, raising her kids, and found their mimicry of their first food source to be cute, took a picture, and posted it to Facebook. Â I would not have done so, but it doesn't make her a bad person or mother because she did. Â No harm came to her children, and it is arrogant beyond any rational explanation to criticize this mother for doing something that you all find distasteful (and for the record, I do too), but I don't bad mouth moms for raising kids differently than I would, arrogance, arrogance, arrogance. Â Yes it was mildly creepy, but it was not sexual, and any of you that think it is, you all need to get your heads checked, I would counter that the people criticizing this are the ones with the problem, not this mom that just looked at something innocent and wanted to show her friends. Â There is nothing wrong with that, get off of moms, leave them be to raise their kids and quit criticizing unless you walk on water and your poo smells like CK1! Â You don't and it doesn't, so shut up already!
 @Scratchmaster Joe First of its totally innocent moment captured. IF farrari would not have received undue attention if she didnt make such a fuss over such a minuscule thing. Facebook didnt claim its child pornography they said its against their guidelines. Someone on her own frnds list would have reported it as "inappropriate" .if she is really offended discontinue using FB case closed. She is just another one of those self-righteous moms who crave for attentions and cant get over themselves
 @Scratchmaster Joe I do not think it is sexual either, but I do find it disturbing and would not be happy if my two kids pretended to breast feed one another. If this were a boy and a girl I'm sure people would be even more appalled, but I find it inappropriate as is. That stated, there is no reason as you state to label her a bad mother.
 From a mom that nursed point of view it is a funny picture, Seth was still little when I was nursing Nadine when she was born and would pretend to nurse his bear sometimes. Kids that are around moms nursing tend to mimic with dolls and such and it is cute. I can see her "nursing" her sister and her mom thinking it is cute and funny and taking a picture and it being completely innocent and her being so into the mommy zone not realizing there could be anything wrong with it. After all there is nothing wrong or perverse about nursing and kids mimic what they see. HOWEVER, people REALLY need to think before they upload. To another nursing mom, this is cute and funny. To a pedophile this is pure gold. There are several pictures of my kids that I have taken that are cute to me, like when Gage decided to run through the house naked and unroll toilet paper everywhere and I snapped a picture of it, but I would NEVER post it. I realize that there are people that would see that as more then cute. I think she is probably one of the breastfeeding moms that has had to deal with criticism for nursing, like most of us have, and sees this as an opportunity to promote the breastfeeding is not wrong campaign plus she is mad she is banned. If it was a pic of HER breastfeeding she would have a right to be mad and whatever. But it is her children mimicking her and it has no business on facebook. They are doing nothing wrong and it is a cute family moment, not a public moment.
Did anyone see that cover of Time or Newsweek with the provocative mom standing and her 5 year old son standing on a stool and nursing at her breast posed? Â THAT is child pornography. Â What will that kid think of that picture when he's 15 years old?
 @Jill Abramson That magazine cover was not pornography in any way.  Pornography is defined as something designed to titillate the consumer in sexual ways.  There is nothing titillating about a mother breastfeeding her child, weather on a magazine, in a mall, or at home, it is not a sexual act.  There was nothing inappropriate about it, and if you felt it was sexual, then that just proves my point that it is your own mind conjuring up these sexual images, and that makes me wonder about what is going on in your brain, perhaps I should crack a little Freud tonight over a beer and read up on what your psychology is, hmmmmm.  Jill Abramson thinks breastfeeding is pornographic, and to me, that makes you the sicko, not the breastfeeding mother.  Am I being to harsh?  Sorry, I just tire of this issue, breastfeeding is a right, and there can be no restrictions on this right in a free country. Â
 @Scratchmaster Joe The Time magazine was not pornography, but it was disturbing. I'm all for breast feeding, and plan to do so for at least a year , but 5? Come on, that's creepy.
 @LongBeachBum No, The "creepy" thing is breastfeeding your child once they can talk, walk, and proceed to raise your shirt at any moment to "feed". Nursing an infant or small child at the breast is natural, But nursing a School Age Child is not right. If you chose to continue to supply your child ith your own milk after they become lil mobile people, good for you I applaud you for being dedicated and capable to do it. But I feel that at that point the mother should be pumping, storing, and giving her milk to her child in a cup. If they are old enough to use a cup then they should.Â
I found that Times Cover disturbing, and unnatural for the child. That poor boy will be mortified in 10-15 years about that. I think Feeding at the breast at that age is not only mentally damaging to the child but also selfish of the mother.
This Is MY OPINION I am not stating facts nor am I say your opinion is wrong But saying that kacie has a dirty mind and feeding a child at the breast untill tween years is normal. Its Not. In this society you have to understand that it is a sexually motivated culter we live in, People will allways find a way to make something Dirty. As kacie said the Times cover isn't porn but it is unnerving to see a 5 yr olf child standing on a stool feeding at the breast on the cover of a magazine.
 @Kacie Riley The only thing "creepy" is in your dirty little mind. Breast feeding is a natural and many children feed till near their teens. It is a natural, normal, healthy act and you need to go back to you knitting in you rocking chair.
That he was hungry and eating...like any other 5 year old would think! God gave girls boobs to feed their children- not to look good in a shirt!
 @Dawn E. Lilenfeld-Saada I would be grateful if your God would stay out of my breast and, coincidentally, my uterus :)
 @T. That is a little harsh, I don't think Dawn was saying that you need not decorate your breasts with cute clothing, but rather, that a breast is for food, any other use is just a bonus.  Plus I don't think she's trying to put her "God" anywhere in your life, she is just saying that they are functional body parts that have purposes, and that breastfeeding is that purpose...Â
@ claire...breastfeeding is not obscene when done privately by a (MOTHER) and her child..taking pics.of your 4 and 2 year old like this is obscene and to plaster it across the internet is mentally ill....why a mother would sit and watch her children do this and then take a pic. is beyond me...and what she is teaching her children and not explaining what is acceptable and what isnt will come back to take a big bite out of her ass later on...
The mother didn't think. Just like the 15 year olds that don't think when they put pictures of themselves on the internet. People forget that ANYONE can look at the internet. However, what her children were doing was NOT obscene in ANY way! She has obviously fed her child that way and her older daughters were mimicing that. There is nothing wrong with that! Next time that I see a woman in a mall give her baby a bottle, I will make sure to tell her that she should cover herself up with a blanket because I find that obscene. God gave us boobs to feed our children!
 @Dawn E. Lilenfeld-Saada Some women HAVE to use formula, and plenty of women put their breast milk in bottles so stop being judgmental. I would not let my 3 and 4 year old pretend to breast feed one another; that is something ADULT women do, not little children. When they have children they can breast feed all they want, but they are not putting their mouths on each others nipples.
 @Dawn E. Lilenfeld-Saada And what about us women who cannot nurse due to medical issues? Just as breastfeeding moms may get the occasional nasty look for flopping their boobs out in public, us that HAD to bottle feed have gotten those same nasty looks by other women who made us feel inferior for not breastfeeding. I would have loved to be able to nurse my children, and would have had enough modesty to cover myself up while doing so.
This silly lady is more concern about being banned from Facebook than the fluzy desicion she made in up-loading the photo. I think they should have edited the interview footage so that only the parent showed to for the sake of privacy concern for the kids on a controversial subject like this.
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There's just too many ways how this picture can be interpreted and one thing that remains is that there is contact of a minor with another minor on the chest.
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Facebook had always controversy when it come to Breast-Feeding photos but the picture above clearly shows two minors who are just innocently being kids, but it's stuff like this that shouldn't be flunged so casually on the internet like FaceBook or Youtube or any other social-websites.
this is poor parenting to me also...why would a mother put her children on the internet like this.. and why do a 5 and 2 year old know about breast feeding...disturbing..unless you are actually one of the mothers that pop the boob out and breastfeed the child in public ..your boob hanging out for all the world to see...nothing wrong with breastfeeding..just should be done in a discreet way by a mother and not 2 small children.....i would not want my daughter to be seen like this on the internet....but each parent has their own way of parenting..but just be warned..what you teach your child may come back to bite your ass years later down the road.....
 @Susan Bailey My 12, and 9 year old boys know about breastfeeding... from watching me nurse their little sister in the privacy of our home. Also there are books about breastfeeding meant for toddlers whose moms are nursing younger siblings.Â
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My mom has a picture of my 3 year old brother nursing a doll copying her nursing me when I was an infant. This is cute playful pretend. But you need to teach your children what is okay, and what isn't okay. If they were 8 and 6 would this be okay? Not so much. Â
"An official from Facebook said the company doesn't comment on its policies." Isn't that cute. Do as we say - whatever that might be. Facebook fascists, a sign of the times.
Personally, I find bottle feeding to be far more obscene than breastfeeding, real or pretend. As for the Seattle PD, I think they need their diaper changed, it's obviously full.
 @ashareem There is nothing obscene about bottle feeding. Breast is best, but many women can't for physical, mental, or work and obligations related reasons, so seriously knock it off with the judgmental crap.
Really? Â Did the thought ever enter your narrow mind that some women are physically unable to produce milk? Â As for calling out the SPD, keep that thought in mind when you find yourself dialing 911. Â
 @ashareem So, my not being able to breastfeed my children due to medical issues and having to bottle feed would have been obscene to you? Perhaps I should have hired a breastfeeding nanny to breastfeed my children or just let them starve to death.
 @ashareem Seattle PD has seen the collection of child pornography that gets some sick people off. I sure as heck wouldn't want a cute picture of my daughter to be one a dirty man was wanking off too.Â
 @ashareemÂ
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Maybe the photo wouldn't have caused concern if it was a different society in another country but NA is very cautious when it comes to stuff that should be "Family Only" things.
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There's nothing wrong with Breast-Feeding at all and as female it's natural to do these things but the photo can be interpreted in corruption by the wrong people who are out there in this world.
Uhhh... it wasn't a doll. It was her sibling. This is completely inappropriate, it's exactly like, you know, GRANDMA "play breastfeeding" or DAD "play breastfeeding" or your BFF "play breastfeeding" YOUR REAL CHILD. Your kids mouth really doesn't belong sucking on anyone's chest and nipples other than your own.The "this ISNT obscene" argument is stupid. During washing and potty training, parents will come into contact with their children's private areas, as well. Don't think your daughters should be "play bathing each other's privates" either. When are we gonna just state the obvious- breastfeeding is appropriate because (mostly-I know there are exceptions) BIOLOGICAL MOMMY is using her breasts in a MATERNAL fashion. Little children shouldn't be doing it. Ya, I'mma say it. Not EVEN appropriate if you didn't post the pics all over facebook.
 @Rae Rae Martinez EXACTLY!!!!!!!!! Little kids should not be imitating such adult activity. What, is it okay for them to examine each others private parts too??
Like another friend pointed out "If there was a photo of a five year old bottle feeding a two year old shirtless, we wouldn't be having this conversation." Breastfeeding is not obscene!
 @Claire Kids sucking on each other's chests- not really breasfeeding.
 @Rae Rae Martinez Totally with you.Â