Student's suicide shines light on 'chronic blushing'
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SEATTLE -- Blushing is something we all do when we're embarrassed or ashamed.
At worst, it's uncomfortable, but for one University of Washington student blushing hurt so much that suicide seemed to be the only way to make it stop.
On Tuesday, May 29, student Brandon Thomas jumped to his death from the University of Washington's McMahon Hall.
"He jumped from his dorm balcony. It was 13 stories," said Brandon's father, Steve Thomas.
Brandon, just 20-years old, died instantly, just as he'd planned.
"When we got the call the day he took his life, I never asked -- neither one of us asked. We knew," said his mother, Dawn Thomas.
What Dawn and Steve knew instantly was that their son's secret life of torment had pushed him to the brink, and then over it.
"It breaks my heart knowing that I couldn't save him from this, and as a parent you want to save your kids from everything," Dawn said. "Even though he was 20, he was still my little boy and I couldn't save him from it."
While they knew he was suffering, Steve said he didn't think suicide was a choice that Brandon would ever make.
In a five-page suicide letter to his parents and twin brother Devin, Brandon revealed he was psychologically crippled and drained by a relatively unknown medical condition called chronic blushing. He considered himself cursed. Every day, multiple times a day, he blushed uncontrollably for no reason.
"It was impacting him every minute of his life. That broke my heart watching it," Dawn said.
With chronic blushing, an overactive nervous system triggers uncontrollable blushing. Brandon's fear of turning red made him even more red.
Brandon hated that others assumed he was embarrassed, ashamed or lacked confidence. In his suicide note, he wrote that his blushing would prevent him from ever having a career, a relationship or any kind of normal life.
"He said this was exhausting and no one should have to live this way and him jumping would bring awareness to the medical community," Dawn said.
Brandon's parents say no one should have to die to make a difference. They understand his desperation, but don't condone suicide.
In an effort to help others suffering from the condition, the family launched a website in Brandon's honor that offers sufferers a place for hope and help.
Brandon considered surgery to stop the blushing, but when he was given only a 50-50 chance of success, he lost hope. His final wish was that his story would be told and he could help others.
"There are numerous people who have said (the website) saved their life. The most recent, a young cop from London who was one week away from taking his life," Steve said.
Next to Brandon's suicide note, his parents found his "Bucket List" of things he'd like to do before he died. Included on the list were sky diving, growing a beard, conquering blushing and saving a life.
Joshua Hanson represents a live saved. The daily blushing episodes started for the Tenino teen in high school.
"He described it as a flushing feeling. He felt like heat rising up through his face. He would get very, very red and his ears would almost turn purple," said Sheri Hanson, Joshua's mom.
His parents tried to make light of it, but Joshua got their attention over the summer when he told them he couldn't go to college until he got help for his blushing.
That's when Sheri found the Thomas family's blushing website.
"I read his story and heard his parents cry out for Brandon and I just knew I had to do something," Sheri said.
Now a freshman linebacker at Portland State University, Joshua has been blush free since his surgery in August.
"My earnest hope is that other young people would find hope through this story and they would get help," Sheri said.
Experts say the surgery to treat chronic blushing is not for everyone. After surgery, patients lose the ability to sweat from their head. Brandon's parents call the procedure risky and controversial.
One thing both parents said is that they learned that hard way to never tease a blusher, because it may be a condition they can't control.
More information about Brandon and chronic blushing is available online.
At worst, it's uncomfortable, but for one University of Washington student blushing hurt so much that suicide seemed to be the only way to make it stop.
On Tuesday, May 29, student Brandon Thomas jumped to his death from the University of Washington's McMahon Hall.
"He jumped from his dorm balcony. It was 13 stories," said Brandon's father, Steve Thomas.
Brandon, just 20-years old, died instantly, just as he'd planned.
"When we got the call the day he took his life, I never asked -- neither one of us asked. We knew," said his mother, Dawn Thomas.
What Dawn and Steve knew instantly was that their son's secret life of torment had pushed him to the brink, and then over it.
"It breaks my heart knowing that I couldn't save him from this, and as a parent you want to save your kids from everything," Dawn said. "Even though he was 20, he was still my little boy and I couldn't save him from it."
While they knew he was suffering, Steve said he didn't think suicide was a choice that Brandon would ever make.
In a five-page suicide letter to his parents and twin brother Devin, Brandon revealed he was psychologically crippled and drained by a relatively unknown medical condition called chronic blushing. He considered himself cursed. Every day, multiple times a day, he blushed uncontrollably for no reason.
"It was impacting him every minute of his life. That broke my heart watching it," Dawn said.
With chronic blushing, an overactive nervous system triggers uncontrollable blushing. Brandon's fear of turning red made him even more red.
Brandon hated that others assumed he was embarrassed, ashamed or lacked confidence. In his suicide note, he wrote that his blushing would prevent him from ever having a career, a relationship or any kind of normal life.
"He said this was exhausting and no one should have to live this way and him jumping would bring awareness to the medical community," Dawn said.
Brandon's parents say no one should have to die to make a difference. They understand his desperation, but don't condone suicide.
In an effort to help others suffering from the condition, the family launched a website in Brandon's honor that offers sufferers a place for hope and help.
Brandon considered surgery to stop the blushing, but when he was given only a 50-50 chance of success, he lost hope. His final wish was that his story would be told and he could help others.
"There are numerous people who have said (the website) saved their life. The most recent, a young cop from London who was one week away from taking his life," Steve said.
Next to Brandon's suicide note, his parents found his "Bucket List" of things he'd like to do before he died. Included on the list were sky diving, growing a beard, conquering blushing and saving a life.
Joshua Hanson represents a live saved. The daily blushing episodes started for the Tenino teen in high school.
"He described it as a flushing feeling. He felt like heat rising up through his face. He would get very, very red and his ears would almost turn purple," said Sheri Hanson, Joshua's mom.
His parents tried to make light of it, but Joshua got their attention over the summer when he told them he couldn't go to college until he got help for his blushing.
That's when Sheri found the Thomas family's blushing website.
"I read his story and heard his parents cry out for Brandon and I just knew I had to do something," Sheri said.
Now a freshman linebacker at Portland State University, Joshua has been blush free since his surgery in August.
"My earnest hope is that other young people would find hope through this story and they would get help," Sheri said.
Experts say the surgery to treat chronic blushing is not for everyone. After surgery, patients lose the ability to sweat from their head. Brandon's parents call the procedure risky and controversial.
One thing both parents said is that they learned that hard way to never tease a blusher, because it may be a condition they can't control.
More information about Brandon and chronic blushing is available online.
The people on this post who have criticized or disregarded this young man and his condition infuriate me. I have this condition - it is real and it is physiological - no different than diabetes or any other medical condition. This started for me when I was 35. I have sought treatment and lived with this for the last 14 years. It wasn't bad at first but became severe and the symptoms were constant within a year. It is extremely PAINFUL, worse than your worst sunburn feels, and the overactive nervous system also causes intense heat on your skin so that you are trying to function while your skin is burning up and you feel like you have a fever of 104 ! Simple things like showering in warm water or cooking over a stove become unbearable. I am a health professional and WITHOUT any psychological problems. Don't judge unless you have had to walk in our shoes.
The people on this post who have criticized or disregarded this young man and his condition me. I have this condition - it is real and it is physiological - no different than diabetes or any other medical condition. This started for me when I was 35. I have sought treatment and lived with this for the last 14 years. It wasn't bad at first but became severe and the symptoms were constant within a year. It is extremely PAINFUL, worse than your worst sunburn feels, and the overactive nervous system also causes intense heat on your skin so that you are trying to function while your skin is burning up and you feel like you have a fever of 104 ! Simple things like showering in warm water or cooking over a stove become unbearable. I am a health professional and WITHOUT any psychological problems. Don't judge unless you have had to walk in our shoes.
Just looking at this picture is enough to melt your heart. He was so good looking and had a wonderful smile. This is really so sad. My deepest sympathy to his family and friends.
How sad and all of us lost a young man whose potential was unlimited. I don't know anything about the disease but I assume suffers would deal with it easier if he or she surrounded him/her self with supportive and encouraging friends. A beard might help too. One thing I do know for sure is that parental teasing isn't appropriate at all. I dearly loved my dad but he teased me mercilessly about dating. Consequently, I didn't date .... ever. No prom, no dances, mostly lonlineee.
@smokey307 The parents did not tease their son. It's what most blushers that have contacted them complain about.
It is sad that this happened but there are worse things people deal with everyday and don't kill themselves. Makes me wonder if there were other issues as well. Very sad.
What people need to realize is that there are varying degrees of how this condition effects people. This condition isn't just one size fits all. It can range from smaller or less intensity in a person to severely intense and more frequent episodes of blushing. Some people have learned to cope with it or have outgrown it and some people don't.  People who blush due to embarrassment once in a while....think of this happening to you multiple, multiple times a day and people pointing it out all the time (but you can control some of the situations in which this wouldn't happen which does not occur for people who suffer from this condition).  I would think after years and years and thousands of times of your body reacting so strongly without any prompting or situations to set it off, you would grow tired and weary of it too. The body can blush without anything externally causing it so it could occur even when he was alone and this constant intensity of the blushing without being able to control it is what causes damage to people.  It is like any condition where you have no control over what your body does and you are at its mercy....but yet no one really knows why it exist or what it is....yet.Â
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I know this family and they did EVERYTHING in their power to help him deal and cope with this condition. When he came to them, there was BARELY any information on it and they were pretty much blindly trying to figure it out. If many of you have heard of this in the past couple of years it is because THIS family brought it to the forefront in order for people to understand it and to know let people, who have suffered in silence or didn't know what was happening to them, that this was a physical condition versus just a few episodes of being embarrassed and they are not alone or unusual.  Maybe alternative treatments would help amongst many other things but so many people have suffered in silence and didn't know or understand why they were even having these episodes (and because so many "helpers" tend to minimalize their condition) that people were not actively seeking help because they didn't realize it could be controlled except possibly through surgery, which many can't afford. The only reason alternative treatments are being so actively thought about or sought NOW is because this family is openly talking about their son's experience and it is finally being recognized as the physical and physiological condition it is. Think about all the conditions that are now a major part of our society such as ADD, ADHD, autism, and aspergers...the only reason they have been accepted and dealt with is because someone lead the fight to recognize and understand the disorders, but before they were "accepted", these people were made to feel like what they were experiencing was only unique to them. The Thomas family has opened a door to an severely overlooked and incredibly discounted condition that has ruined many people's lives and only because of their desire to not let their son's death be in vain, they have altered the direction of many people's lives who no longer live in isolation and silence or embarrassment about this condition. They should be thanked and honored versus disrespected and mocked.Â
just wondering if acupuncture or hypnosis or perhaps other "alternative" treatments would help this disorder ?
He was a good looking kid. I bet there was a girl or two at the u-dub that secretly had a crush on him. My sympathies to his family.
50% chance of corrective surgery and instead he jumped off a building?Â
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@lakeview major risks!!!
 @Dawn  @lakeview Riskier than death? Do you see what I'm saying here?Â
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@Silvia @lakeview - this is more to Lakeview, not that I need to defend anything. But, in agreement with Silvia, many chronic blushers do avoid the surgery because of the risks... particulary as a man. I will leave it at that.
 @lakeview  @Dawn Sometimes the side effects for an operation may seem worse than death. Or they may actually be worse than the original disorder, hard as that may seem. Also, as a young person who is actually struggling with an embarrassing disorder, you don't have the perspective that someone else may have. I know from experience that unless you have actually walked in the shoes of the struggling person, you can't really understand what they are experiencing.
@lakeview I think the article said that there are side effects to the operation. I don't know what it would be like to not being able to perspire (head, I think) - you'd get awfully hot? Or would it be dangerous? I'm sure he and his family thought seriously about the surgery - only until you are in the position of making that decision can you possibly understand the uncertainty of it all.
I can't imagine living with something like this on a daily basis for all my life. People are ignorant and wouldn't have understood, esp kids.
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My condolences to his family and I feel for them that they couldn't do something to prevent the loss of their child's life.Â
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On a different note, wasn't there an episode of Grey's Anatomy (very early on) in which there was a female patient who had the same condition? If I recall correctly, a surgery fixed it.. much like Joshua's.Â
@Seattleite Yes there was a Grey's Anatomy episode.
I don't have this problem, but I get embarrassed easily and my face always turn when I do and someone always has to point it out which makes me feel even more embarrassed. I even got the nickname big red. It's sad he felt like this was the only way to handle it.
I don't know why they call it a "relatively unknown" malady...it's just not talked about. Those of us who suffer with it simply deal with it and since there is little to provide relief, what good does it do to complain? How many research dollars can be raised w/ annual telethons for "blushers"? No walks for the cure, no 3 days...please, it's an embarrassing situation that no one wants to admit to. But, the burning, the dryness of your ear tips, eyelids and cheeks, even the tip of your nose, it's devastating. And those who suffer generally suffer w/ other nerve related disorders, raynaud's syndrome, migraines...and life is hell at times. I truly wish this young man had had the constitution to endure; for me, it's been since I was 12 and it never gets easier. It makes public speaking, recognition, even casual meetings unbearable. I pray this family has peace, they have lost a precious child.Â
@takncarabizniz There are also children who shake due to neurological disease. People think they are nervous and tell them to "just relax" or to go for counseling. If only it were that easy! Yes, you can tell people that you aren't nervous, but they often don't listen...and it gets tiring wondering when the next rude person will make rude comments about something you really can't control, nor is it a character flaw. I'm sorry for what this young man and his family have gone through. Perhaps it will be a lesson to everyone to overlook the quirks that people have, and to see others as people who want to be accepted, no matter how they look or act.
I am happy to see so many people don't understand why Brandon could do this. they should feel lucky they don't get it cause that means they have never had to deal with something like this. I absolutely understand how Brandon could get to the point where he would want to take his life. I understand how nothing else could be a contributing factor. I understand having a problem that consumes every waking moment of your life, living in constant fear. I understand how frustrating it is to have nobody understand because if you haven't gone through it you don't know. I understand I will never understand or know the pain Brandon went through because each person is unique and everybody pains differently. I understand if you are in constant pain (not physical pain) sometimes you just want to feel a different type of pain or anything that's different from the way you feel. I don't understand why our society looks down on mental health issues. why so many people say suck it up.
reading stories like this makes me so mad at the human race!! One, that we are such a cruel, judgemental society that shame people who are different, even if it's completely beyond their control. If people weren't afraid to be different or have problems, there wouldn't be all this anxiety and shame over it. And two because we spend so much money on meaningless, superficial things that could be spent on medical advances to stop people's suffering.
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I have a similar problem in that suddenly I'll just start getting sweaty. Not because of any physical activity, but because it feels like I'm not getting enough fresh air and it feels so muggy to me. Certain stores or homes I'll be just fine, but others where there is heat on or where I feel no air, I'll start sweating like crazy and it really puts a barrier between you and other people because you don't want to deal with their thoughts or judgements.
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Whenever people have an issue like this, the first response is "go to the doctor"...which seems logical, but doesn't always work in practice. It costs a lot of money to see a specialist, which you are referred to...and then they have all these drugs and things you can "try" but no real answers. So it's just a slow and very expensive process to narrow things down. Not many have the money or time for that. Also with the drugs they want you to "try" there are all these warnings about various side effects...so I can potentially stop sweating but I might have a heart attack or stroke?
Not a simple or working solution there.
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@nomad the condition you are referencing actually is very similar the condition my son had. The surgerys to treat chronic blushing and hyperhidrosis are very similar. One is a snip of T2 and the other T3. Many people who have chronic blushing also have hyperhidrosis. Thank you for your post!
How do you prove this is the motive? Did he leave a letter behind explaining?
Makes no sense!! Because it sounds silly I just don;t believe that is the reason he took his life.
For all we know he could have been pushed out the window!! Come on!! BLUSHING?
 @reelin21 Get a life.
 @reelin21 Have you even followed this story? It clearly states that left a 5 page or so letter behind! Talk about sheer petty ignorance!
 @reelin21 Wow!! Even after reading the story (or maybe NOT readying it in your case) you show your ignorance!! People like you make me sick!
@reelin21 , apparently you didn't bother to read the entire article...yes, Brandon left a 5 page letter and it was the harrassment and bullying that finally got to him. Think, before you post.
@takncarabizniz I thought I read a post from his "alleged" mom, Dawn, on this thread that said that he was not bullied. Did I read that wrong? So, he was being bullied?
@reelin21 and it wasn't a window...he jumped from a balcony.
@reelin21 5 page suicide note, and 8 months of therapy, medication, and surgical consults...so yes I have proof not that I really need to prove anything to you.
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Brandon's mom
 @Dawn  @reelin21 Condolences on your loss.
@reelin21  Try reading the story again. He did leave a 5 page letter. Maybe it would make more sense and not sound "silly" if you'd read the whole thing. Undermining and criticizing something you don't understand, especially in this situation, is cruel. Â
I was called so many names as a kid for "turning red", like there wasn't enough to deal with growing up. I am fair skinned, tend to be pinkish at the best of times, and blush basically over the entire head when embarrased.   I used to wish only my cheeks would turn red like most others, but that was never going to happen. It does suck and I feel for the guy.
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I don't understand people who are terrified of open spaces, confined spaces, heights, crowds, cracks on sidewalks, you name it, but it makes it no less real to them.
@reelin21 It says he left a suicide note. You are being very mean and shallow and you should keep those comments to yourself if you can't even have the respect to read the story before spouting off your remarks.
 @reelin21 You obviously didn't read the story. Go back and try again, reading comprehension IS your friend! "In a five-page suicide letter to his parents and twin brother Devin" And, this is not simply "blushing" The name of the disease is "Blushing Disease" or "Blushing Disorder" Look it up.
@reelin21 Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean that its not real. There are a lot of conditons that I could never wrap my head around until it actually happened to me. Very sad story...
This is so sad. Condolences to this child's loved ones. There is a condition called histadelia (high histamine) that can cause uncontrollable blushing. It can be treated with supplements.
Me thinks this young man had issues beyond a red face.Â
If people chose to pick on one of your faults that you had no control over, mercilessly, for as long as you could remember you may change your tune. Suicide is pretty extreme, but you hear about it for obese kids and many other things kids like to pick on.
I wish some of the viewers wouldn't belittle this condition or say that it was a selfish thing that Brandon did. It's quite unfortunate that those viewers also don't understand what it means to live with such condition, or for any matter, the battle he had to battle psychologically. Many people underestimate how much mental burden really affects a person. To say that what Brandon and others are dealing with (chronic blushing) is not a medical condition, is almost like saying depression, anxiety attacks, and any other conditions that aren't "physically debilitating"  aren't medical conditions either. You can't tell someone to just go "suck it up" and keep living life. While you hear a story like this and some first instinctual thoughts may be "Wow, how can someone do something so stupid because of this so called condition?", keep pondering and step into Brandon's shoes. Try imagining what he had to go through each day. Actually imagine being a student, and feeling like you can't have a relationship or not be able to get a job.
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You can't judge someone, or their family for trying to save other lives.
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If you have to judge, then judge. But at least try to see their perspective of WHY they're fighting so hard to give light to this condition. Don't go belittling the family and Brandon for their efforts to save other that also endure the same condition.Â
@Ana Thank you Ana.
@Ana Well said. Thank you!!
 @Ana Thank you. My thoughts exactly.
I need to point out that Brandon was never bullied. His friends and co workers would point it out as people often do when people blush. I blushed a year ago in front of about 10 people at work. I already knew at that time that my son was dealing with this issue. I felt my face light up and get hot, my heart started to race and I felt all eyes on me. No one said anything. But the blushing increased the embarrassment. All I thought was this happens to my son all day long without his control. A chronic blusher does not blush because he is embarrassed like the rest of us. They blush for no reason, and then the embarrassment over the blush happens. It is reverse blushing. I wish this would have been stated in the story. But even then I don't think people necessarily get it. The chronic blushers start avoiding people because of the anxiety over the blushing. Dating feels impossible because they are afraid they are going to blush on the date multiple times which will make it seem like they lack confidence. Many chronic blushers have written us stating they have been turned down for promotions because the boss thought they lacked confidence due to the multiple blushing episodes. The condition brings on shame. That part I don't understand and I can't because I don't suffer with this. But out the 500+ emails we have received, over 95% of them have only told us they suffer with it. My son suffered in silence for 4 years before coming to me. We had 8 months to figure out what to do. We ran out of time and we took it seriously from the get go. Many of the blushers who did tell their parents have shared with us that their parents minimized it like some of the posts I am reading. We never did because my light hearted son cried to me one night for two hours about how debilitating this condition was.  I believed him because my strong son lived had always lived his life to the fullest, and rarely did you not see him without a smile on his face. Brandon was very well liked, he was smart, he was athletic, and he had a lot of friends. As one chronic blusher wrote to us just last month. This condition will buckle the strongest person to his knees, and unless you struggle with it you can never truly understand it.Â
@Dawn excuses and medical conditions for everything. blushing is not a medical condition that needs a doctor
 @1791:Â
To quote SgtPepperSpray:
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Boooo, since I can't thumb you down I'll spell it out. 1 THUMB DOWN. -1
 @1791 A family just lost their son and that's what you have to say? I agree with your first sentence. We are labeling everything as a condition these days. You name it, there's a pill for it. But you're out of line making that statement here. Physically, it's probably harmless but psychologically, it's devastating. You need to show a little compassion. A family is morning the loss of their son.
 @Dawn I am so very sorry....
@Dawn Dawn you are so strong and so inspirational. I am sure you know how much Brandon touched and inspired others in his lifetime, but you may not know how much you touch and inspire others with what you and the rest of your family are doing. The website and all these interviews will surely save many lives. The information out there will even help those of us who don't suffer from this condition be much more sympathetic to anyone we see that may be suffering with this. Bless you!!
@Dawn I'm sorry for your loss. Please, please don't read these forums for your own mental health. People are cruel.
 @Dawn I am so sorry for the loss of your dear son. I hope your wonderful memories of who he was will bring you some measure of peace. Please don't take the judgemental things said in this forum to heart, some people just don't have the ability to feel sympathy for other people's pain. Bless you for putting yourself out there to try to help others.
 @Dawn I'm so sorry you couldn't find answers before it came to this. All through my youth I had problems with blushing myself. I don't think it was as bad as your son suffered through but it affected me in more ways then I probably realized. It kept me from doing a lot of things I wanted to do. It kept me from doing things I needed to do. Talk in front of class? Forget about it, I'll take an "F". I can see how it could get out of hand and completely take over someones life. Hopelessness can be a killer. I hope that this article helps someone out there dealing with this issue. Thank you for your honesty and everything you're doing to make a difference. My thoughts are with you and your family. I bet your son was a wonderful loving person. He's not hurting anymore.
 @Dawn It is a very unselfish and admirable thing you are doing with starting the web site and going public with your story. I don't think most people would be strong enough to respond in this way (pretty sure I couldn't, though I am inspired right now!) I'm sure your biggest wish is that maybe somehow this will help avoid another tragedy down the road. He just looks like such a sweet, good kid. So sorry for you folks.
@Dawn I am so sorry for your loss. You have my deepest sympathy.