Targeted by bullies, teen hangs himself in schoolyard
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PORTLAND, Ore. – After KATU's coverage of a cluster of seven teen suicides in the town of Battle Ground, the discussion about suicide has branched out to deal with the issue in communities across the area.
In the town of La Grande, Ore. two children in the last three months were intent on ending their own lives. A 16-year-old girl killed herself in October and now there’s a 15-year-old boy who is not expected to live after hanging himself.
His family said he was the target of bullying.
Through Skype on Monday, Bud Hill shared what he admires about Jadin Bell, the son of a family friend who is so close that Hill considers Jadin his nephew.
"If someone was down and out he would walk into a room and say a couple quick words and everybody would just forget about their problems and smile. He just had a gift," Hill said.
Dozens of people came together last week in La Grande in a vigil for Jadin, trying to understand what drove him to despair nine days ago.
He came to the playground of Central Elementary School in La Grande. He climbed on a play structure and hanged himself. Someone passing by tried to rescue him. He was brought to Portland and Doernbecher Children's Hospital where he was put on life support.
Hill says Jadin was pushed to suicide after being bullied in person and on the Internet for being gay.
"He was different, and they tend to pick on the different ones," Hill said.
Hill says Jadin asked his parents to home school him. He feared turning in the bullies would make things worse. But he had found the courage, recently.
The school district says it was in the process of investigating when Jadin tried to end his life. At Doernbecher, doctors detected little brain activity and Jadin was removed from life support over the weekend.
His family is by his side.
"It's tough enough to deal with what you know is coming up, but the waiting is not good," Hill said.
The superintendent in La Grande says everyone there is heartbroken. He's asked a mental health agency to look at how the school deals with these issues to see if there’s a better way to handle it.
Hill is vowing to start a new organization in Jadin's honor to tackle these issues.
It was a KATU On Your Side Investigation into the two most recent suicides in Battle Ground that sparked this local conversation about teen suicide.
Resources for youth:
- Mind Your Mind: A non-profit dedicated to providing reliable information for youth dealing with depression, anxiety, and suicide. The site contains youth-specific resources, tips for coping with mental illness issues, and the personal stories of youth who have experienced and overcome these issues.
- Reach Out: A website for youth, by youth, with information on how to help yourself or a friend who is thinking about suicide. Allows youth to share their stories about overcoming depression and suicide in an online, supportive environment.
- We Can Help Us: A collection of videos made by real teens who have gone through a variety of different challenges and overcome them. Also allows other youth to share their own stories in a supportive environment.
- The Trevor Project: A website dedicated to helping LGBTQ youth dealing with depression, anxiety, and suicide. Also operates a 24-hour crisis hotline, 1-866-4-U-TREVOR.
- The Jed Foundation: A resource for college students containing information about depression and anxiety among college students, and information about how to get help at school.
- Metanoia.org: An online resource that offers information about how to find and contact a therapist, and how to make sure your therapist is right for you. Also offers resources for connecting to a therapist online for 'e-therapy'.
- Teen forum on suicide being held in Battle Ground
Resources for parents:
- Association for Behavioral Cognitive Therapies: Offers information for parents about childhood mental health issues and advice on finding the best treatment for you and your family.
- Lok-It-Up: A campaign to promote the safe storage of firearms. Offers advice on how to safely store firearms and prevent teen firearm suicide.
- ASK Campaign: A website dedicated to gun safety. Information about firearm deaths and tips for preventing your children from gun violence.
Resources for Educators:
- Evergreen Education Association: The Evergreen Education Association is holding a "Diversity and Social Justice Conference" in February with a session that will focus on suicide prevention.
I personally live in the LaGrande area and know that it's a bad place to be queer. The paper here conveniently left out the cause of bullying (http://www.lagrandeobserver.com/News/Local-News/Students-hold-vigil-for-LHS-classmate )- and the sad thing is that if they had mentioned that he was gay, there would be a lot less sympathy going around.Â
 This place has serious problems when two teens are bullied to the point of suicide in three months.Â
My heart is broken for dear Jadin and his family. Â Having been bullied as a child for being gay myself and also surviving an attempted murder along with my partner of 10 years in a hate crime in 2008, I know how it feels to want it all to end. Â I wish I could have known this young man and encouraged him to stay strong before his heart was broken, his faith was gone, and tragedy struck his family. Â My prayers are with you all!
You left off the "It Gets Better Project" (http://www.itgetsbetter.org), started by our own Dan Savage.
@DeborahPÂ Thing is... Dan Savage only supports you if you're a white, gay, cisgendered male.
@DeborahP Dan Savage himself is a bully. He does no good for anyone with the gigantic chip he carries around on his shoulder against straights and Christians. Dan Savage is a very poor example for bullying cases. I have seen video of him doing EXACTLY what he says he's against. As usual, another HYPOCRITE from the left.
 @wake_up_America!  @DeborahP HOW IN GODS NAME do you find dan a bully? he is a great man who is trying to help kids who are facing bullying in this crazy ass world where being gay and having a gay relationship is everyone's worry. he (dan) is a great man who wants to make a difference
 @wake_up_America!  @DeborahP Umm, that's a rather twisted interpretation of the work Dan Savage does.  What he does is try to un-do the years of shame that gay youth have experienced from their churches and their close-minded families.  He's direct and unfiltered and is pushing back against certain religions and families who continue to inflict harm on our gay youth. To call it bullying is disingenuous at best and an outright lie at worst.Â
Rest in peace. Another travesty due to ignorance, when will we learn? My heart goes out to him and his family. We need to listen, we need to care, we need to fix this, this needs to stop. Parents sit down and talk about the differences in people and there life style's and tell them thats what makes this country great. Tell them to expect there rights and freedoms to express themselves only when they respect others. Fellow students stand up for the bullied, the picked on , the hurt or weak because they need you and you can make a difference. If you do not regardless of a tragedy happening to them or not you will realize it was you who was the weak one for being able to do something and not. As for you bully's, you antagonizers,  you who persecute people for being different or something and someone you dont like. You will wake up years from now wondering what effect you had on the world. You will one day care about the pain you caused, the grief you spread. You may not realize it now, or maybe you do and just dont care, maybe you like to hurt people. Either way it will all catch up to you and you will regret it, you will regret not being a more positive impact to your world, you will wonder what opportunities you missed because of it, there will be many. The only way to truly be happy and free to express yourself and be yourself is if you let others do the same. The effects of respect transcend all hatred , education is the death of ignorance, and through a healthy respect of each other we will find communal happiness and joy.Â
I wonder how many of the people saying nice things at the vigil said the same nice things to Jadin while he could still hear them... But I always wonder about that when things like this happen. If as many sweet things were said directly to him, maybe this wouldn't have happened.:(
it amazes me that adults shout death before paying taxes on prisons or kill a home intruder, cops kill people with guns or what they consider a weapon. put to death on death row. then we wonder where this kids come up with this idea we need to teach children that killing or killing your self is so very wrong in so many ways. kids and adults that feel death is their choice, so was it a mother and fathers to give life. and that is what needs to be shown, a hug and taking, just is not enough nowa days
Seems like we need to make school administrators PERSONALLY responsible if bullying is reported or observed, is not addressed immediately, and the result is a suicide. The applicable law would be Involuntary Homicide by neglect of known danger to dependent minor. I think take the bullies and put them in juvie for much the same crime, also.
 @JLS1950 the problem is, some school officials DONT care. in a lot of states (dont quote me about oregon because i dont know the state laws), but a LOT of school officials wont do anything. i feel that there need to be consequences for those that dont do anything to help kids who are being bullied. we have seen what has happened when it is not dealt with. no one should have to feel the need to commit suicide because of the person they love
 @JLS1950 I say make the bullies and their parents responsible.
 @shrowaja Problem is, it is in the school environs where the bullies act: at home they are usually little angels. Moreover, by my personal experience, schools actually TEACH bullying as a form of "crowd control" - tacitly allowing more aggressive but school-compliant students to control the "black sheep" of the students.
Bullying starts in the school as much as or more than in the home - and it is the non-enforcement of rules by the SCHOOLS which allows it to continue.
Sounds like we should all pull our kids out of public schools if the teachers can't keep kids from being picked on non-stop.
@Magic 8 Ball If schools can't keep our kids safe from crazy rampant shooters, how are they going to stop student bullying? The parents should have acted on what he was telling them. He requested to be home schooled, they sent him to school. They did not talk to him enough. Kids are cruel, ad in a nation with no God and no hope, cruelty abounds not just in the kids, but their parents.
Both my oldest son and my daughter were severely bullied in school because they were white and not native American. My oldest son finally flew off the handle and beat the sh*t out of the bully that was twice his size. The school tried to suspend him and tell him he couldn't go on the end of the year field trip, after talking to the principal, the bully was escorted by an adult for the rest of the year and my son was not punished.
My daughter was relentlessly bullied for years by the same group of girls and she put up with it pretty well as I told her these girls would grow up and be teen moms on welfare while she will go on to college and make something of her life. Then one say she comes home and her clothes are torn. At that point the school was informed. When I say informed or I spoke with, what I mean is I raised holy bloody hell at the school and MADE THEM understand something needed to be done!
Oh and by the way, most of those bully girls are teen moms on welfare.....just saying...there are solutions.....
 @Magic 8 Ball I had to pull my son out after I was told they would put a safety plan in place, this is the equivalent of painting a target on his back and with him having to walk a mile and a half home down Delridge daily, I wasn't willing. I asked him to be moved to another close school and was told no, so now we home school! Some schools just think that if the kids don't say " yes I bully other kids" that it doesn't happen!
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 @Magic 8 Ball The teachers can't be everywhere. What happened to personal responsibility and raising your children to be respectful. I put the blame squarely on the parents.
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@Magic 8 Ball I did
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 @Magic 8 Ball computer school them!
Threats of legal action, having a parent that doesn't shy away from proactive responses to bullies and an assertive child are all good tactics but they are, by no means, the answer to every instance of bullying.
If your child has no respect for you, if they are smart mouthed, rude, defiant, sneaky then they are a potential bully. If your child is quiet, shy, artistic, gay, bisexual or lesbian, happy, gregarious, outspoken, intelligent, disabled, athletic, clumsy, tall, short, thin, overweight. . . . . . . . . . they are a potential victim of bullying, in fact pretty much every child is at risk of being bullied. Â
Here are just a few ways to avoid having a child who is bullied or who bullies. Be involved in your child's life, particularly their school life. Respond promptly to teacher or school requests for contact with you, particularly where behavioral issues are concerned. When a kid sees that you avoid conferences, ignore phone calls and communication from school, even not knowing or caring when your child's grades, major projects, interim reports and exams are scheduled, they know that there is a level of impunity in their relationship with you. "My parents don't care," is not just a cry of frustration, but also one of defiance. When they know you aren't going to follow up or follow through, they know you don't care what they are doing or to whom they are doing it. On the flip side of the coin, paying little attention to your child's life away from home leaves them vulnerable to predators of all types, no just bullies. Knowing the names of your child's friends puts you a step or more ahead of the bully and the bully's parents. It also creates an extended circle of protection and monitoring for your child by deputizing extra eyes to watch them.
But, I also agree with @LocalLady when she says that teen suicide is another part of the problem. I believe that we won't ever get rid of all the bullies, though I wish we could, but I really do believe that there is still so much we can do to prevent losing children to suicide. It's important that we continue to search for the answers to those issues. Mental illness is probably the single most prevalent factor in the death by suicide of young people. When you couple poor or challenged mental health with feelings of loneliness, worthlessness, profound disappointment, feelings of inadequacy make a dangerous combination.
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Nothing can substitute for knowing your child.
tI's all well and good to talk about bullying but I think we are all missing an opportunity to address a bigger problem here - teen suicide. We have more teen suicides than ever before, and the number is growing every year. We should be trying to lower that number.Â
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Why do the kids who kill themselves feel like they have no other options, like nothing matters enough to fight to live? What has changed in society to produce these types of feelings in our young people today? THOSE are the questions we should be asking & trying to find answers for.
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This is not simply some story in the news for me. My nephew committed suicide when he was 13. He took his Dad's (my older brother) pistol & shot himself in the head. As if that ws not bad enough, his sister came home from school that day & found him. They shared a birthday, she was exactly 2 years yonger. She called 911 - and the person hwo got the call was my younger borther, who happens to work at King County 911. He passed the call to another operator & took off for the house.  My nephew DID leave a note, however it simply left instructions on how to dispose of his belongings, and then it said "I'm sorry". No answers to why, what drove him to "the point of no return", but it was obviou8sly something he had been thinking about for a while if he took the time to put into writing what to do with his things. What were the signs that we missed? He seemed like a happy kid, never in trouble, not "acting depressed". He was not bullied, he knew how to stand up for himself & to defend himself (my older borther is 30+ years USMC, taught him hand-to-hand combat). And yet, he felt this was his only option. If he were still with us.he would be 31 this year. How I wish I could simply ask him "why".
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Please, let quit pointing fingers, trying to place blame, calling one side or the other cowards. Let's work together to fix the problems, to make teen suicides start decreasing until they are no longer happening at all. At this point, it does not matter who thinks who is a coward. The problme is here & now - let's make the solution here & now as well.
Obviously, those who question whether Jadin was gay and being bullied have never been the target of bullying. You need to get your heads out of the sand or where ever yaâll keep it. Bullying in our schools is at epidemic proportions of both gay and straight students. Although, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender [GLBT] students targeted most by bullies and are at a much higher risk of committing Bullycide than their straight classmates. All students are at risk from constant verbal, physical, cyber bullying and Bullycide isnât exclusive to GLBT students. Search âBullyingâ, read the statistics, countless studies on this issue and educate yourself before making unfounded comments. First step lies with those charged with protecting our teens in school. School administrators, staff and teachers need to be more diligent about dealing with the issue of bullying and educating students itâs wrong. Turning a blind eye when they see it or a deaf ear when a student tells them their being bullied, is to prevalent in our schools. Remaining silent and not taking a strong stand against it. Sends the wrong message, whether itâs to the bullies themselves or those being bullied. Second step lies with parents, they need to educate their children acceptance, tolerance and understanding of the differences of their fellow students. To many times, either based on selective religious beliefs or personal bias of a certain group or groups of people, spewing hate or intolerance causes their child to follow their lead. The third step should be punishment, a slap on the wrist or donât do it again simply isnât enough. Habitual bullies need to know they will face severe consequences for their own actions. Whether detention, suspension, expulsion or even in some extreme cases criminal charges should apply. Weâre talking young teens very lives here, such as the case with Jadin and to many more to count. We all must âTake a Stand and Speak Out Against Bullyingâ if weâre ever going to see an end to this behavior. That said, Iâm pleased to see so many people here who understand, that as a society we must address the issue of bullying in our schools. The unbearable pain and suffering this has on our young teens, makes this a life or death issue. As an Anti-Bullying Activist, I thank those of you who are adamant that bullying has to be addressed and stopped, I speak at schools about this terrible issue. The stories I hear directly from students after I speak to them or via emails, breaks my heart. Bullying isnât solely a gay issue, it effects the whole range of students and itâs up to each of us to do our part to stop it. How many more lives will be lost and families destroyed by this evil behavior. My sincere condolences and prayers are with Jadinâs parents, loved ones and friends. RIP Dear Jadin.
My parents always taught me that I was defending myself, or defended someone else that was getting picked on, I would never, ever be in any trouble with them. I believe that I am a much better person for it. I only wish that this boy had been in my school...I wish he could have had someone to talk to.
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One time I was in second grade and a known bully who was in the third grade on the playground was teasing a kindergartner and keeping her glasses from her. As I wore/wear glasses myself, I marched right over and demanded he give the glasses back to the crying girl. He refused, and I socked him in the arm so hard that he doubled over in pain. I then picked up the glasses, cleaned them on my shirt, and gave them back to her.
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I was suspended for two days; my mom and dad bought me ice cream and took me to the movies both days.
There are responsibilities that the families of these victims are choosing to ignore:
1. Teach your child how to defend him/herself against physical attacks. This does not mean teach your child how to bully others. It means teach your child that no one has the right to harm them and that there are methods which can be learned to help when someone tries to hurt them. This is INVALUABLE information that will not only help your child physically, but will begin to give them self esteem and a new view on life about how to deal with these challenges. Enroll the child in a self-defense course or have him/her start learning a martial art. There are schools across America that teach this.
2. Children need to learn why others target them in the first place. Don't teach your boy to be effeminate, knowing other boys will eat him alive. Stop being a naive hippie and live in reality. Send your boy to school wearing a dress and you're basically asking some kid to pummel your child. BE REAL.
3. Do something when you notice the signs of your kid being bullied. Thinking it's a phase and dismissing it is a surefire way to tie a noose around your kid's neck. Contact school authorities and law enforcement, when things go too far.
4. I hate to say it, but don't listen to the appeals of your child about coming after bullies. Your child does not want to rock the boat. Unfortunately, in cases of extreme bullying, the boat needs to be rocked.
5. Let your child know that you love them and support them.
@noirling If your child is born gay and identifies that at an early age, forcing him to be someone he is not will also lead to suicide. Lost a friend this way.
@noirling for the ones who thinks "blaming victim" is not the way to go, what is your solution to this problem other than pretending to be the nicest person in the world?
 @noirling "Don't teach your boy to be effeminate, knowing other boys will eat him alive. Stop being a naive hippie and live in reality."
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Alternatively, people like you could stop blaming victims and pretending you're trying to "empower" them by changing them into people they are not.
 @iamfantastikate  @noirling If you walk around naked, don't be shocked when someone rapes you. Just sayin. Not blaming the victim. Just pointing out the obvious. If kids pick on other kids because they are gay, the simplest way to avoid being picked on is to NOT ACT GAY. How hard is that to comprehend? If you want to send your kid to school swishing and lisping, by all means, enjoy it, but don't act all traumatized when some ignorant sod smacks your kid around. Because it WILL happen. The world is full of ignorant people. Don't think otherwise.
@iamfantastikate@noirling
That put it as nicely as possible. Teaching children that âgayâ is normal, and encouraging them to act that way only puts your child at risk. Yes, some people are born with a DNA defect responsible for sexual confusion, but donât encourage your child to act gay just to further your own progressive agenda. For the most part, âgayâ is a political statement.
 @oldster70 Wow, those are some pretty harsh words. So, tell me this--what exactly is 'acting gay'? A boy who likes to dress well, meaning ripped jeans and raunchy t-shirts are not in his closet but ties and dress slacks are? A girl who really likes to play sports, and does like to wear the ripped jeans, boots, and flannel shirts? Almost every person who is a homosexual can look back at a time in their life when things became a little confusing to them--and whether they knew it or not at the time, it was obvious looking back, that was the time when they could have known they were gay. We don't necessarily understand exactly what we are feeling, but believe me, when we get older, we recognize the signs we showed when young.  My point is this: all children should be allowed to 'be themselves' and if they start to realize they don't quite think the way other kids think, they should not be forced to behave by conforming to the 'standards' of everyone else.   When you start forcing kids to do that in the name of 'protecting them from bullies', you will end up with confused, depressed, and suicidal kids, who don't have the coping skills to get through that stage of their lives. My intention is not to simply say you don't know what you're talking about, but to educate you on what is going through the minds of kids who may or may not understand they are gay.Â
@noirling@iamfantastikate
Not bullying him. I really feel sorry for this poor child. His parents, the school, and society in general let him down. First, he was way too young to have determined he was abnormal. He needed support, but what he got was encouragement to act in a non-conformal manor. Political correct screwed him. I hope all you progressives are happy, because you did this. Â
 @iamfantastikate  @oldster70 Stop bullying him, otherwise he might kill himself and then you'd be liable for murder. See how stupid that sounds?
 @iamfantastikate  @noirling Or to put it another way, non-progressive
 @oldster70  @noirling There's no such thing as "acting gay." Are you "acting straight?" Or are you just straight?
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Since you're okay with homophobia, will you be okay with my ageism? I'm not surprised "oldster" is in your username, as you're completely out of touch with modern, nonreligious reality.
at some point, targets have to take responsitiblity for attracting attention. Sure, they're not to blame for the violence that they recieve, but if one does things that attract bad attention, they set themselves up for pain.
 @Dave Lancaster Sorry Dave, but that is simply unacceptable.  Everyone knows or knew of some kid in school who simply acted 'weird or just unable to fit the mold of other kids at that age.  Maybe they didn't have social skills like the rest of us, maybe they were developmentally challenged, maybe their parents simply taught them to be themselves and it manifests in "strange" behavior.. I remember thinking 'he/she is very odd', but never once did I tease/taunt/physically attack them. We just didn't do it at home, we knew it was inappropriate behavior, and that was the end of the discussion. I have my parents to thank for that. After a certain age, we simply knew that we just didn't act like that--regardless of how odd the person was. I was on the receiving end of bullying in elementary and junior high, and 50 years later, I still remember the pain it caused. I really hate that I still carry those memories with me, it was such a waste of emotion and trauma. I will admit,  I was the odd one out at that age, but certainly did not deserve the bullying I got at the hands of these other girls. As far as I am concerned we should never blame the victim--kids are awkward at all ages and if other kids figure out how to use that to amuse themselves, only they can be blamed. .Â
 @Dave Lancaster When my son said he would rather be dead than go through another day of the verbal abuse at his school........I am not going to tell him to take responsibility for it all!
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 @Zeke EqualRights Fread No victim asks to be bullied. But victims have the power to mitigate these circumstances. I don't know where you have come to the conclusion that bullies don't need to take responsibility. No one has said that. Keep your logic on a leash.
 @Colleen Hickey  @Dave Lancaster He killed himself. Who else are you going to blame? The community?
 @Dave Lancaster "Targets have to take responsibility" â "they're not to blame for the violence they receive".
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Big contradiction.
Victims are asking to be bullied to death, seriously? So the way you see it, bullies don't have to take responsitiblity what so ever for tormenting, causing severe mental or physical suffering by their victims! It's statements like this that allow bullying to flourish in our schools. And cause young teens to feel that Bullycide is the only way to end the horiffic pain they suffer on a daily basis at the hands of bullies. Sorry to say, it's people like you, iamfantastikate and Dave Lancaster, not Jadin or the hundreds of gay and straight teens whose lives are cut short and families destroyed because of bullies. Shame on you and anyone who dares blame the victims and not the perpetrators.
 @Dave Lancaster BLAME THE VICTIM
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Victim blaming much? >:(
We can speculate on why Jadin made the decision he did but that won't change the outcome. Teens everywhere gay, curious, or straight, face the same challenges. Jadin reminds us that the worst weapon against our progress is silence. The media exploits this story now for ratings, but the conversation must continue. We leave Jadin in God's hands, not knowing all the answers. Only that God's hand is leading us and His love supporting us; through Jesus Christ our Lord.
 @Andrew Ross And more sadly, I don't think Jadin was ever in "god's" hands. He was a beautiful child of nature and is now simply gone. Forever.
 @Andrew Ross You mean: "Jesus Christ My Lord". Please don't speak for "us", that's the same kind of thinking that got us here in the first place: you assume you know what's best for everyone.
@strangel00p don't blame this on religions, even communist countries with absolutely no religious affiliation have biased opinion towards homosexual.
 @PuzzleFighter  @strangel00p My point is that authoritarianism is unhealthy regardless of its source, religion or government. You are the one trying to unlink religion and anti-gay sentiment by bringing up communist countries, which I say is bunk, since they are just about the same thing in terms of authoritarianism.
@strangel00p OK two side of the same coin, how is that logic flawed? so quit at judging and use words to make yourself better.
 @PuzzleFighter  @strangel00p Your logic is flawed: presumptuous religion and totalitarian government are two sides of the same coin. As I said, "you assume you know what's best for everyone." Whether that's government or religion, it's unhealthy and unethical.