Dad denies 4-year-old cancer patient's Make-A-Wish trip
TOLEDO, Ohio (AP) - A 4-year-old girl who went through two years of cancer treatments isn't being allowed to go on a Make-A-Wish trip to Disney World because her father said she's in remission and the trips should go to children who are sicker than his daughter.
The young girl, McKenna May of Haskins, had the trip postponed twice while she was undergoing treatment for leukemia and finally was set to go in August when the father refused to sign off on the trip, the girl's mother and grandmother said Thursday.
The family said Make-A-Wish requires signatures from both parents if either have visitation rights or is listed on the birth certificate. McKenna's parents never married or lived together. Her grandmother said the father only recently received visitation privileges.
McKenna's mother and grandmother are now collecting donations at local businesses to pay for the trip to Disney on their own. Money has poured in since their story spread beyond northwest Ohio. They haven't told McKenna why the Make-A-Wish trip was canceled.
"We've told her we're still going to Disney, just not when she thought it was happening," said her grandmother, Lori Helppie. "We don't want her to judge her father."
Her father, William May of Toledo, said donations made to the organization should help those who are terminally ill.
"Spend the money on a child who this might be their last memory," May said Thursday. "Kids who are only going to live a year or six months."
The girl's grandmother said that McKenna has had a rough two years and won't be judged to be free of cancer until five years after her last treatment, which was last month.
McKenna was diagnosed with leukemia in April 2010, just before she turned two. Chemotherapy treatments affected her speech and immune system, and she had three extended stays in the hospital. She also broke her leg in a fall. Doctors told the family that it would be better to wait to go to Disney until McKenna was done with treatment, Helppie said.
"She's been through quite a bit," Helppie said. "We have had quite the journey getting her back to being like every other 4-year-old."
McKenna's mother, Whitney Hughes, said she's overwhelmed that so many people have reached out to help. The family expects that they'll soon have enough money to go to Disney. It's something McKenna has talked about for months, her mom said.
"She wants to go see Mickey and the princesses," Hughes said.
The young girl, McKenna May of Haskins, had the trip postponed twice while she was undergoing treatment for leukemia and finally was set to go in August when the father refused to sign off on the trip, the girl's mother and grandmother said Thursday.
The family said Make-A-Wish requires signatures from both parents if either have visitation rights or is listed on the birth certificate. McKenna's parents never married or lived together. Her grandmother said the father only recently received visitation privileges.
McKenna's mother and grandmother are now collecting donations at local businesses to pay for the trip to Disney on their own. Money has poured in since their story spread beyond northwest Ohio. They haven't told McKenna why the Make-A-Wish trip was canceled.
"We've told her we're still going to Disney, just not when she thought it was happening," said her grandmother, Lori Helppie. "We don't want her to judge her father."
Her father, William May of Toledo, said donations made to the organization should help those who are terminally ill.
"Spend the money on a child who this might be their last memory," May said Thursday. "Kids who are only going to live a year or six months."
The girl's grandmother said that McKenna has had a rough two years and won't be judged to be free of cancer until five years after her last treatment, which was last month.
McKenna was diagnosed with leukemia in April 2010, just before she turned two. Chemotherapy treatments affected her speech and immune system, and she had three extended stays in the hospital. She also broke her leg in a fall. Doctors told the family that it would be better to wait to go to Disney until McKenna was done with treatment, Helppie said.
"She's been through quite a bit," Helppie said. "We have had quite the journey getting her back to being like every other 4-year-old."
McKenna's mother, Whitney Hughes, said she's overwhelmed that so many people have reached out to help. The family expects that they'll soon have enough money to go to Disney. It's something McKenna has talked about for months, her mom said.
"She wants to go see Mickey and the princesses," Hughes said.
What a loser, not to want his child to go to Disney World because she is in remission!!!! Make A Wish does screen these applications and if they say she is qualified who is he to say she is not sick enough!!! The loser is just jealous because he has not been in this child's life until recently and would not be going with them on the trip!!!!. When I first read this story I thought how sad this man must be to deny his sick child this trip. How does he know she will stay in remission, she could get sick again, hoping and praying she does not, but this could have been her only chance to take this trip and this scum bag tried to deny her that right. Â
This guy wins the father of the year award. Real parents want what's best for their kids, and after a medical battle and all the pain she's gone through she deserves that trip. This foundation doesn't make their decisions lightly, and if they've qualified her then they believe she is sick enough to earn this gift. Sounds like the dad is only saying no out of bitterness and not his childs best interest.Â
WTF? Seriously dude what the hell is wrong with you?
This man is a clueless ass. You are not cancer free until you have seen no signs for a minimum of 5 years and even then you can never be sure it won't come back. The child has been through a lot and deserves the reward. A dying child would not even enjoy the experience.Â
I'm glad that this beautiful child will get her wish and be able to go to Disney World despite her father.
This jerk is just trying to use this poor girl's illness to get his 15 minutes. He has never been in her life, did nothing to help with her illness, and NOW suddenly he tries to get all noble when they need his signature? Sorry, I just don't buy it.
Can't tell if this is sour grapes or the guy thinks he doing the right thing. Either way, 4 years and she has gone thru some really heavy duty battles. If there is a place to donate to get this kid to Disney World, I'm in.
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The Dad should go as well, so he can understand why these kids need the time to forget thier pain and laugh like they were  never was sick the began with-just for a few days.
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well, I like most of what you said EXCEPT the part about dad should go too....absolutely NOT as far as I'm concerned. He's done nothing as a parent, based on what I read, and has gone so far as to cancel a trip his little one was living for. He can go another time with her - on HIS paycheck.
He doesn't know they work, obviously. Â My nephew had brain cancer at 4, was cured, but at 20 is pretty disabled because of it all, and they went on a trip to Disneyworld a few years ago. Â The process is up to the organization. Â Someone nominates a person, Make-a-Wish decides who goes and where, period. Â If I were a donor, I would have no problem with that. Â How sad that he is depriving his child of an experience that went through all the channels and was awarded to her.
I take the trip to Diseyland. I been there 4 times.
Lets all get together now and pray to whatever god guides karma to send this kid to disney land, and maybe give her dad something for his efforts also.
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Talk about an over compensating parent. I'd be willing to bet he doest want to risk having to spend any money. Which, whereas it's understandable given the economy isn't very cool considering the situation
@Seattlebcc Seriously, MAW will make sure the expenses are either not there or minimal. He's just looking for his 15 mins of fame. Don't give him so much credit (ie economy issues). It has nothing to do with it.
Sounds like a real nice guy.... good grief. The Make-A-Wish foundation is willing to give her a bit of happiness after all she's been through and he has to stomp all over her dream. Some people don't deserve the term parent and this guy is the poster child for those who can't get beyond their own hatred even enough to show a little love for their own child.
This little girl has been through enough! Let her go on the trip! What does he mean there are others who need more? That will always be the case! In anyone's circumstances! She was offered the trip; she deserves to be happy and go. This isn't a suffering contest. What a jerk. Sounds like someone is trying to think globally but really in the end he is being close-minded and denying his little girl her dream. By the way, Disney isn't the end all be all, Dad. You aren't graciously giving a cure to cancer or something like that to someone else. And It's not like other children can't go if your daughter does.
So dad was basically an absent dad the whole time she was sick - but now that she's doing better he'll try visitation (Her grandmother says the father only recently received visitation privileges with the girl.) yet somehow he knows she's not deserving of a trip. Â What a jerk. Â
She went through a horrible ordeal with leukemia. I say that she deserves a reward for that. It's just not fair of her dad--who it sounds like just reentered her life--to deny her that.
From personal experience, I KNOW that the thought of a dream trip through MAW is what keeps some children going. Cancer treatment is BRUTAL, and not everyone survives, as you well know.
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A trip to DisneyWorld is not just a normal trip to a Disney theme park. It is a trip of a lifetime, where the family gets to stay in a special village created JUST for children who have been through, and who are still enduring life-threatening illnesses. It is a trip to celebrate a child and their life, whether they have conquered cancer for the time being, or if they still will need treatment, or if they have a terminal diagnosis.
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To deny a child the opportunity to go, when they have been through so much is cruel, whether well-intentioned or not. Some sacrifices are worth making. Destroying a child's hope of going on their dream trip is not a sacrifice worth making.
Not cool Dad ... I bet he would take the cash if they offered it to him ..
I'm siding against Dad on this one. If the foundation says she's eligible for this trip under THEIR criteria, then let her go and have some fun for a change. She's been through more in the first four years of her life than any of us may ever go through in our entire lives. Let the kid have fun and enjoy this.
I see so many people saying the "dad is a jerk, unfeeling, off his rocker, and not married". SO WHAT if they aren't married. She is his daughter and he is making a good decision by offering the trip to someone who really needs it. Someone on their last days or busted up so bad they will never have a life. Some day she will get there and enjoy herself, while someone now will be able to enjoy them selves before they pass on or become so disabled that they can't go out of the house.
@LongBeachBum You're an idiot and OBVIOUSLY not a parent. How dare you even chime in.
@LongBeachBum How do you know she will get there someday? She just had her last treatment last month. Doesn't necessarily mean she's cured.
 @LongBeachBum The guy just recently began visiting his daughter, he hasn't been active enough to determine whether she deserves this trip or not. Men and women who've not been apart of their childrens lives should not get to make decisions based on biology alone. This little girl just stopped treatment last month, she's still very ill. She fought a two year battle for her life. And I don't think it has anything to do with not being married, I think it has to do with an absent father, just now beginning to have a role in his childs life, taking away something that she deserved. However with the donations this family has been getting it's biting him in the ass because now he doesn't get to play god and his daughter will get this trip despite him trying to prevent it.Â
From what I read, they aren't even telling the little girl that her father is voting to deprive her of the trip she has dreamed of. So, there will be no lesson learned about giving something to someone who needs it more. The Make-A-Wish Foundation will not likely seek out a specific child whom they judge more "deserving". They will just put the money back in the budget for the trips of many other already approved children who are very likely in remission, just like her - That is what they do!!!! You can't travel with children who are in treatment or have compromised immune systems, nor would the children enjoy being at Disney when they are too sick/weak to participate. This guy is making a decision that appears cold-hearted, thoughtless and selfish, regardless of what his clearly mistaken intentions are!    BTW - Sounds to me like he is a biological father taking advantage of his legal right, not a parent teaching a moral lesson to his child. Way to make her feel that she doesn't deserve to get the "extras" in life ~ That way maybe she won't ever expect too much from him!
 @longbeachbum:  Do you have any idea what MAW is for? It's NOT just deathly terminally ill kids - it is ALL kids with a life-threatening condition. He is NOT making a good decision - ALL the kids who are offered their":wishes" deserve them.
Get Real! She is NOT cured, only one month since her last treatment. Her testing next month may show the cancer has returned. She may not have any more "somedays" than any other kid who is granted a trip. He is doing this out of spite, not because he wants it to go to someone more needy. There is a good reason he has not had visitation up till recently, now he is weilding the only power he has. Sick, sad excuse for a dad!
I am with the dad on this one. He is not punishing his child but simply saying that someone else deserves this MORE. That is what is called sacrifice.  Very rare nowadays. Besides, the kid is going to go someday, just not taking MAW's money to do it. And she'll appreciate it a little more when she is a little older.
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@Sid Vishess Yet ANOTHER idiot who obviously has no children or understanding of the situation. One more opinion that's worth zero cents....
@Sid Vishess Those kinds of lessons are only sucessful when done carefully and with the child at least on board with the decision. In fact, in many cases, the children are the ones making that choice. But, this situation is crap! This little girl does not appear to be from a family who can afford to take her on the trip themselves, and it appears she will be getting the opportunity only because of donations from kind people who see how clearly mistaken this father is. Unless the follow-up story headline reads "Father of 4-Year Old Cancer Pays for a Dream Trip to DisneyWorld" ~ he is truly a Scrooge!
 @CJSeattle  @Sid Agreed CJ and to be the kind of parent who can role model lessons in life to their children you need to actually be involved, and be a loving parent showing the lessons come from a place of loving consideration and NOT a place of lack of caring.Â
@Sid Vishess This little girl went through a battle for her life. While others deserve a wish so does she after what she went through. She may be clear of illness now but she was granted a wish and she should have been given the option of going.
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Instead, her "Dad" was a dick and took that chance away from her. Did you read the last line of the article? "Her grandmother says the father only recently received visitation privileges with the girl." If he hasn't been a part of her life until recently then he shouldn't have been given the right to take that opportunity away from her.
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Way to go, "Dad." YOU should pay for her trip then.
 @Sid Vishess You obviously don't understand the purpose of Make-A-Wish. It grants wishes to children who have suffered life-threatening medical conditions, past or present. She would not be taking away anyone else's wish by going. This little girl has been though a lot, more than most adults. Have a heart.
@Sid Vishess Sid, I normally like your posts, but not this time. The 'dad' is an absentee father. So not only has the child grown up in a single home, she's done it fighting cancer. I'm very glad that she's a fighter and survivor and her and her mom need a bit of fun and distraction for all they've been through. I'd give you a thumbs down, but that option's not open to us anymore.
 @Magic 8 Ball  @Sid Well actually we don't in fact know he was an absentee father, and not another victim of the court systems, or for all we know since they didn't live together or get married it could have been a one night stand, and she never told him about her. This article doesn't go into any detail. Though I still think he should have let her go.
 @Magic 8 Ball  @Sid Normally I like my posts, too and I know mine is not a popular stand. I can't imagine the struggle and heartache that family went through. If it were my grand-kid, I would be a mess.  Maybe the meddlesome grandmother can pony up a few bucks. I know I would.
 @GetOverYourself  @Sid  @Magic  @Sid Being called clueless by someone replying to a two month old thread? Priceless...
@Sid Vishess @Magic 8 Ball @Sid Again, you don't have A CLUE, SV. How dare you judge a woman who's very likely given every hour of her life in support of this little girl - something the father has NOT done. Please - go away.
 @Sid Vishess Meddlesome grandmother? A grandmother who stood by her dying, sick, frail and in pain grand child, and supported her mother during the strain, pain, and exhaustion she went through is not meddlesome, it's responsible. The dad obviously couldn't be bothered to be involved when his child was dying, just now stepping in to have visitation. And do you know the cost of airfare, hotel bills, food, and admission to disneyland is? It's not just about letting go of a stingy hold on money, I'm sure this grandmother has been helping financially draining whatever savings she had on medical bills that aren't always covered by insurance.Â
 @Magic 8 Ball  @Sid I am with Sid this time. If the child is out of danger and not on her last days, someone that is should get the trip instead. I am willing to bet that his child will have pride in what he as done later on.
Two problems with that stance:  #1) The child is not the one making this decision. #2) Make-A-Wish Foundation provides trips to children with a terminal illness whether they are in remission or not. Denying this little girl her trip is pointless and will not change the mission of this charity.Â
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If the father wants to start a charity that offers trips to children based on the severity of their illnesses and awarded with priority to those with the shortest life expectancy, then by all means, do it! That is not MAW.
@LongBeachBum @Sid I would agree except the trip had already been offered. To take a child's dream from them after the OK has already been given seems kinda cruel given all that she's already been through. Don't you agree?
This person is just sick! I have a permanent physical disability and I got a wish from Make A Wish back in the 80's! Its for anyone who is permanently disabled or terminal. Give this little girl her trip to Disney World, and lets hope the courts take away this father's rights to see his daughter, he is too cruel to be considered a "dad".
 @yentaleh Yeah! I agree! I received a wish 7 years ago, and it changed my life! I am not terminally ill, and never was. I have been in remission for 7 years, but I will have to face my illness at some point in my future. It's a bummer that many people assume wishes are for children who don't have much longer to live.
 @Getsilly17! So true! I have an acquaintance who volunteers for the organization and she told me it is not just for terminally ill children, that is a myth. Any child who has had to go through the struggles this little girl has already faced in her short lifetime deserves a trip like this to lift her spirits.
 @Sunshineday Yeah, it's a really empowering experience to receive a wish. It helped me because my illness is genetic, so not only was I worried about having it, I was also worried about my future family having it. My brother was also diagnosed shortly after I was, and he also received a wish. Receiving a wish was a major turning point for me, it's something I will remember my who life. Make a Wish helped my family too. My dad nominated my brother and I for our wishes. He had a hard time dealing with our diagnosis because he also had our illness. I even had to deal with the terminally ill myth. When some people found out I was receiving a wish, they asked if I was terminal. I used that as inspiration for a blog I am writing. Over the years, I haven't had many opportunities to share my wish story. But now I'm writing a blog about MAW and my experiences with my illness over the years. I'm hoping to write a book too and to help raise awareness for MAW. It seems like many people have misunderstandings about MAW.Â
What a jerk! He is not married to the mother and has only recently started having visitation with the child.  Sounds like he provided the egg but that does not make him a dad! Until he is truely involved with the child and paying the costs of raising the child he should have NO rights to make decisions for her.
So he should just take her on his dime, the end.
Pretty heartless, man - while I can appreciate the reasoning, your daughter doesn't understand any of that. She just knows her dad won't let her go. If she survives into her teenage years, good luck getting her to talk to you then.
I think its great that he has the balls to say no! There are A LOT of kids out there who won't get another chance to go to Disney like his little girl. Let the ones who are dying go first. Kudos Dad!
@Esh Thank you for proving what an absolute tool you are. Every one of your comments is retarded. Someone should put you down like a dog with rabies.
 @Esh Nah - she's gone through two years of treatment that you can bet were no fun. She deserves to go and he's a stinker for not letting her.
 @fyrefawx No, I disagree. There are children who are going through the same hell as she did, but don't get better. They should go. I agree he may be a stinker for not taking her himself but not for turning away Make-A-Wish.
 @Esh Cancer isn't "gone" and her life isn't no longer at risk until 5 YEARS after she's detected cancer free. She had her last treatment a month before this article, she would have gone sooner but had been too ill from her cancer treatments. She'll have monthly blood tests to ensure the cancer doesn't spring back up, she isn't cured yet, just in remission. She deserves that happiness, heaven forbid she gets sick again next month and dies suddenly.Â
@Esh @fyrefawx Because she isn't on her death bed anymore makes her less worthy of a wish?
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That's a bunch of bull honky. She had to fight for her life. She deserves to go.
 @Esh It's not like the lottery, she is not displacing the wishes of other children...that's not what Make-a-Wish is all about.  Besides, it sounds to me like he has no business making those kinds of decisions for her anyeay.