Gay football player says kiss got him booted from team

DICKINSON, N.D. (AP) - A concussion kept Jamie Kuntz from suiting up for his first college football game. A kiss from his much-older boyfriend at that game led the freshman linebacker to be kicked off the team, he said.
North Dakota State College of Sciences in Wahpeton acknowledges Kuntz was disciplined by the team, but says it wasn't because he is gay. Football coach Chuck Parsons told Kuntz in a letter that he was removed from the team for lying about the kiss.
Kuntz, 18, and on a partial football scholarship, left the college in southeast North Dakota this month after his dismissal from the team.
"Football didn't work out, so there was no reason to stay," said Kuntz, who lives with his mother across the state in Dickinson.
Kuntz said he and his 65-year-old boyfriend were in the press box at the game against Snow College in Pueblo, Colo., over Labor Day weekend. Kuntz was videotaping the game for the team. His Wildcats were down by more than 40 points when "the kiss just happened," he said. The team would eventually lose 63-17.
"People around here aren't exposed to it," Kuntz said of homosexuality. "People expect gays to be flamboyant, not football players."
A teammate apparently saw the kiss and told coaches, Kuntz said. When Parsons confronted Kuntz on the bus ride back to North Dakota, Kuntz told him the man he kissed was his grandfather.
"I lied," Kuntz said.
Later, he felt guilty about lying and came clean to his coach.
In a Sept. 3 dismissal letter obtained by The Associated Press, Parsons told Kuntz he was being ousted from the team under the "conduct deemed detrimental to the team" category outlined in guidelines in the team's player's manual. Parsons specifically noted the manual's section on "lying to coaches, teachers or other school staff."
"This decision was arrived at solely on the basis of your conduct during the football game; and because you chose not to be truthful with me when I confronted you about whom else was in the box with you," Parsons wrote. "Any conduct by any member of the program that would cause such a distraction during a game would warrant the same consequences."
Kuntz doesn't believe he was dismissed just for lying.
"I know if it was a girl in the press box, or even an older woman, nothing would have happened," he said. "If it was an older woman, I would have probably been congratulated for it from my teammates."
School officials told the AP that they were investigating whether this was the first such instance of someone being kicked off the football team for lying.
John Richman, North Dakota State College of Science president, said other players have been kicked off the team for various reasons, though he couldn't say whether any before had been booted specifically for lying.
"I don't know of every single case where coach Parsons has had to discipline a young man," Richman said.
Other behavior that the player's manual says could lead to dismissal includes criminal violations, fighting and repeated absences or tardiness to class. Richman said he believes Kuntz's case was handled "fairly and consistently" by the athletic department.
"I'm very confident that with the information that's been provided to me by our football coach, Chuck Parsons, by our athletic director, Stu Engen, that the thought process, the facts that were reviewed, have led them to an appropriate and the right decision in this case," Richman said Tuesday in an interview at the college.
Parsons recently joined the school's diversity council as a faculty representative, according to Sybil Priebe, an English and humanities professor who heads the council. Its programs include events for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender students. Priebe said Tuesday she had not heard much about the incident with Kuntz.
Kuntz said he told his mother that he was gay at the same time he told her he was kicked off the team.
"I'm struggling with it," said Rita Kuntz, choking back tears. "I love Jamie and I'm proud of him, but I know what the school did was wrong."
Rita Kuntz said she has accepted that her son is gay, but she believes he was taken advantage of by his boyfriend, who is more than three times her son's age.
Jamie Kuntz said he met the man online more than a year ago. Kuntz said the man, whom he would not identify, lives in Colorado and the two have met there a few times in recent months.
As far as his football career, Kuntz says he's not giving up. He may pursue it as a walk-on at another university outside North Dakota.
"I miss it already," he said.
North Dakota State College of Sciences in Wahpeton acknowledges Kuntz was disciplined by the team, but says it wasn't because he is gay. Football coach Chuck Parsons told Kuntz in a letter that he was removed from the team for lying about the kiss.
Kuntz, 18, and on a partial football scholarship, left the college in southeast North Dakota this month after his dismissal from the team.
"Football didn't work out, so there was no reason to stay," said Kuntz, who lives with his mother across the state in Dickinson.
Kuntz said he and his 65-year-old boyfriend were in the press box at the game against Snow College in Pueblo, Colo., over Labor Day weekend. Kuntz was videotaping the game for the team. His Wildcats were down by more than 40 points when "the kiss just happened," he said. The team would eventually lose 63-17.
"People around here aren't exposed to it," Kuntz said of homosexuality. "People expect gays to be flamboyant, not football players."
A teammate apparently saw the kiss and told coaches, Kuntz said. When Parsons confronted Kuntz on the bus ride back to North Dakota, Kuntz told him the man he kissed was his grandfather.
"I lied," Kuntz said.
Later, he felt guilty about lying and came clean to his coach.
In a Sept. 3 dismissal letter obtained by The Associated Press, Parsons told Kuntz he was being ousted from the team under the "conduct deemed detrimental to the team" category outlined in guidelines in the team's player's manual. Parsons specifically noted the manual's section on "lying to coaches, teachers or other school staff."
"This decision was arrived at solely on the basis of your conduct during the football game; and because you chose not to be truthful with me when I confronted you about whom else was in the box with you," Parsons wrote. "Any conduct by any member of the program that would cause such a distraction during a game would warrant the same consequences."
Kuntz doesn't believe he was dismissed just for lying.
"I know if it was a girl in the press box, or even an older woman, nothing would have happened," he said. "If it was an older woman, I would have probably been congratulated for it from my teammates."
School officials told the AP that they were investigating whether this was the first such instance of someone being kicked off the football team for lying.
John Richman, North Dakota State College of Science president, said other players have been kicked off the team for various reasons, though he couldn't say whether any before had been booted specifically for lying.
"I don't know of every single case where coach Parsons has had to discipline a young man," Richman said.
Other behavior that the player's manual says could lead to dismissal includes criminal violations, fighting and repeated absences or tardiness to class. Richman said he believes Kuntz's case was handled "fairly and consistently" by the athletic department.
"I'm very confident that with the information that's been provided to me by our football coach, Chuck Parsons, by our athletic director, Stu Engen, that the thought process, the facts that were reviewed, have led them to an appropriate and the right decision in this case," Richman said Tuesday in an interview at the college.
Parsons recently joined the school's diversity council as a faculty representative, according to Sybil Priebe, an English and humanities professor who heads the council. Its programs include events for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender students. Priebe said Tuesday she had not heard much about the incident with Kuntz.
Kuntz said he told his mother that he was gay at the same time he told her he was kicked off the team.
"I'm struggling with it," said Rita Kuntz, choking back tears. "I love Jamie and I'm proud of him, but I know what the school did was wrong."
Rita Kuntz said she has accepted that her son is gay, but she believes he was taken advantage of by his boyfriend, who is more than three times her son's age.
Jamie Kuntz said he met the man online more than a year ago. Kuntz said the man, whom he would not identify, lives in Colorado and the two have met there a few times in recent months.
As far as his football career, Kuntz says he's not giving up. He may pursue it as a walk-on at another university outside North Dakota.
"I miss it already," he said.
so old man likes younger Kuntz - is this really news?
65? yikes!
I know the age difference is not the issue, but i agree with most that it is not right. However, Jamie may not be the innocent victim being taken advantage of, he may actually be the one taking advantage of. The 65yr old is  probably paying for EVERYTHING, like his sugar daddy! Now the fact that he got kicked off the team is BS and we all know it! Had it been a heterosexual guy that kissed a woman and lied about it I doubt he would of been kicked off the team!!!Â
 @cajunurse if you were a man and you were on the football team just think for a minute. "alright guys, hit the showers, we're done for the day", "umm coach, I'll pass for today, I don't want that other guy to be looking at my wanker". make your team feel uncomfortable about you much, eh?
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no offense to him for being pay but there's just some places gays probably shouldn't be just like they're not allowed in the military because of showering concerns.
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http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090223135036AAaiwJZ
 @DylanJ  @cajunurse Either your insecure about your wanker or you think your wanker is something that a gay guy would wanna see (doubt it)... Gay guys are not sex addicts and most respect peoples boundaries. Besides who gives a crap if someone is looking at your wanker? As long as they are not staring it down like its about to attack them then I see no problem with it.By the way, congratulations on your new job at Boeing ;).
@DylanJ @cajunurse Huh? Gays have been allowed to serve in the military since the early 90's. Does the "Don't ask Don't Tell" policy sound familiar? The policy has now been repealed and Gays are allowed to serve openely.
Shoot i was attracted to 30 to 50 year old men since puberty. Â I don't see why people are freaking out about these two. Â Mind your own business. Â
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The fact that he was kicked off the team is BS! But that isn't my main issue with this story. The fact that his boyfriend is old enough to be his grandfather is. I'm pro-gay but I'm not pro-old-man-taking-advantage of young person, whether it be a boy or girl.There is NOTHING that a 65 year old and an 18 year old romantically have in common. NOTHING.
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I feel horrible for the mother. I couldn't imagine if my child was dating someone more than 3x their age. As a mother that's just disgusting, infuriating, heartbreaking.
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Side note: Jamie says he's known this man for more than a year... think they were communicating while he was underage?
 @Tattooed_Angel Who are you to say they have nothing.  many relationships between people years apart work out very well. Â
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Her is an adult. Â You should have such a strong opinion about someone else's life.Â
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You are also insinuating where you have no proof. Â
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@Andrew Bush Really? How would you like it if your 17-18 year old child was dating someone who was 65 years old? Do you even have children? I sincerely doubt it.
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You tell me what a 65 year old has in common with a 17-18 year old. Besides the fact that the old man could have grandchildren this child's age. Yes, I say child because even though the law states that once someone turns 18 they are legally an adult however one of the things I learned in my Psych class is that an 18 years old brain is NOT mature emotionally.
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Here's your proof: http://www.livescience.com/7005-brains-young-adults-fully-mature.html
@Andrew Bush First off, you have failed to tell me what a 65 year old has in common with an 18 year old boy. Secondly, do you have children? I doubt it because parents are supposed to protect their children, regardless of age. Even the mother in the story has an issue with this old man being with her son, not the fact that he is gay. That's a mother's instincts for you.
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It is especially disturbing since this old man has had contact with this kid for over a year. Hopefully the mother pushes for an investigation into when they met, how they met, and what type of relationship they had.
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Call me an overbearing controlling mother if you feel the need however my main job as a mother is to protect my children. And you can bet your arse that take that seriously. Being protective is NOT being overbearing and controlling. If you think those go hand in hand then YOUR the one that needs to go back to school.
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Here's a link to a thesaurus. Check out the synoyms for protective. I don't see overbearing or controlling, do you? http://thesaurus.com/browse/protective
 @Tattooed_Angel Sorry tattoo but if we can ask our 18 year olds to join our military and go off to war then they have the right to make their own decisions about who they want to date. Â
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You sincerely doubt that I have children? Â Why do you say that? Â
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Maybe you should go back to your psych class and read up on overbearing controlling mothers. Â
Why are they even asking him who he was kissing? Â Â
If he had kissed Mrs. Robinson, he would be a hero. Hypocrites.Â
"'I lied,' Kuntz said."Â Enough said.
Homophobia plain and simple. The private lives of people 18 and older is no one elses business. The gross factor? I find the idea of having sex with a woman to be gross in the extreme. Their private parts are disgusting. I need to make clear that is my reaction as a gay man. However, unlike many straight men, I appreciate women because of their whole being, not because of what their equipment is. I hope to see a discrimination lawsuit against the school.
I am hearing a lot of comments about age differences being gross. Your personal preference is a non sequitor when it comes to other people. Some find it funny when there is large height disparity or weight or one person has a major disability or other thing that would put you off, but that has no bearing and no one cares what your personal preference is. 18 is on the border and is someone is that much older, yes it can certainly seem as if it is not right, but unless you are one of those 2 people or see the clear signs of abuse, then I find no reason to comment on it. Our society seems to think that because you have the right to freedom of speech you must spew at the mouth with every opinion and I assure you this is part of what is making society difficult. Sometimes you really should just keep your opinion to yourself, lest someone turn around and judge you as lacking.
Again I wonder what kind of world we would live in if nobody had to overreact to every little thing. Can only wonder.
"If it was an older woman, I would have probably been congratulated for it from my teammates."
Only if you consider "ewwww!" an expression of admiration.
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 @Truth Percolates I have to respectfully disagree with you. There is nothing 'typical' about this case. I know a number of gay men, and lesbians and none of them have relationships with someone 47 years older than them. It is your perception that is skewed and you claim this is something that goes on all the time and that gays and lesbians condone it. WE DO NOT. My reaction to reading this is just like the boy's mother said--she feels he is being taken advantage of. I agree. I also know it happens in the heterosexual community, sometimes we just make jokes about it, when we see a 22 year old woman marrying a man of 80. But, just as in this case, my reaction is to think that there is something weird going on and one or the other is being taken advantage of. But it is NOT typical homosexual behavior, and you've been watching way too many TV movies if you believe it to be typical.Â
@chickysgirl @Truth Percolates Truth Percolates is well known in the forums for being a conservative who hates gays and anything liberal. He also cant make it through a single story without making political references.
 @chickysgirl  @Truth Percolates Yep, being gay is something you are born to. Some people feel so pressured by society or family that they lie to even themselves for a long time and they don't suddenly "turn gay" they finally accept themselves. Gay men don't run around looking for young people to "groom", they have plenty of company. Predators look for vulnerable young people and that sounds like this young man may have encountered one.
Really, the homophobia it requires for someone to think that gay men are out recruiting or trying to convert them is amazing. What makes these men so insecure about their own sexual choices they think someone can "convert" them?Â
This must have been the first time for the state of North Dakota.
Maybe they can double date with Courtney Stodden and her 52 year old husband? I'm sorry - but yuk (regarding the age difference - not being gay).
Wait whaaaat? 65 and 18...that my friends is a child molester.
 @Zim last time I checked 18 was fair play for both sexes, but I admit that is a gross and disgusting age difference for homosexuals and straight people alike
@Larry*X*K But they have been communicating for over a year. Wanna bet on how old the kid was when they met?
 @Larry*X*K  @Zim Whom are we to judge what age people go for as long as the age is legal? May be weird to some, but it's not our place to judge who legal people have relationships with. Some people like older; some like younger...doesn't matter; legal age is fair game.
Good lord - 65 yr old and an 18 year old? Â That's not right no matter what the gender. Â AND he met the guy online more than a year ago - so when he was 16 possibly and Gramps was 63? Â I know that's not the point of the story but this kid probably has bigger issues than being kicked off the football team. Â I really hope it all works out for him.
 @JusticeSeeker The story says they've only been meeting in recent months.
@DMT It doesn't matter that they have only just recently starting seeing each other in person. Remember that story a few days back where that youth pastor is being charged with communicating with a minor for immoral purposes? The one who was trying to have a relationship with a 15-17 year old girl?
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(Don't exactly quote me... It's mid day and my brain is choosing to shut down...)
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Ah, I found the article... Here it is. http://burien.komonews.com/news/crime/780151-burien-pastor-sought-sex-teen Â
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A 65 year old man with an 18 year old sounds like a predator to me.
 @DMT As far as his mother knows. What's he going to say to his mom? "Yes mom, we've been meeting since I was 16." Gay or not, this man seems like more of a pedophile.
A 65 year old and an 18 year old is beyond gross regardless of sexual preference. Â I know that legally it's not wrong, but it's sick. Â I'm 41, and would be beyond ashamed to have a relationship with an 18 year old, I feel that would make me a predator regardless of the law. Â The fact he met this older guy a year ago means he was 17, and that is against the law.
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Regarding getting kicked off the team, lets face the facts on this: Â Football is not a gay friendly sport, you will hear the 3 letter version of the "F" word flying around frequently. Â Right or wrong, it's just how it is, and to put it right in front of everybody DURING A GAME is completely unacceptable even if it was a woman he was kissing. Â
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If you are in an area where homosexuality is taboo, and start kissing a guy in front of everybody in that environment, it's going to create a stir. Â If this was getting kicked off solely because he's gay, that would be wrong. Â His problem is that he gave the team reasons beyond that to kick of him off, he can't prove his allegations. Â
 @eichler34 People used to say the Army and the Marines weren't 'gay friendly' institutions either, yet gays and lesbians seem to die just the same as their heterosexual comrades