SEATTLE -- Shiver me timbers!

What is it with grumpy people who think they are the pearl in the world's oyster?

To answer that query, I'd like to invite one particular member of the Magnolia Community Council to put down his peach margarita and come on down.

Robert Bismuth is just flat fed up with the happy bon voyage sounds of departing cruise ships.

Mr. cranky-pants has been complaining to Port of Seattle officials about the volume of music and on-board announcements as ships depart from their brand new Magnolia cruise terminal.

Seems he and some of his neighbors don't take kindly to their Sunday afternoon naps being disturbed by what Mr. cranky-pants calls badly-played Jimmy Buffet-type songs.

Mr. cranky-pants has convinced the port to convince the ships to tone down the sounds of fun so that the dignity and decorum of Magnolia can be better maintained.

Isn't that special.

So Mr. cranky-pants, for being less of a pearl and more of a barnacle; for being a spoiled, grumpy "hey-you-kids-get-offa-my-lawn", party-pooping kind of guy, take a bow, because this "Schrammie" - which comes with a set of earplugs - is for you.

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