What does the local craft beverage that your Valentine brings you as a gift really mean? Our guide has the answer!
Alcohol is the perfect Valentine’s Day gift for your date to bring—if he or she brings the right beverage. A girl who’s gone to the trouble of finding a nice red wine from your birth year is probably a keeper. If your dude shows up with a holiday five-pack of Bud Light Lime, it might be time to show him the door—but only after checking his ID for proof that he’s actually of legal drinking age. Those drinks have an obvious answer, but what if you’re not sure where it fits between those extremes? Here’s a guide to what that local drink gift says about you, him or her, and your relationship.
Chateau Ste. Michelle Columbia Valley Riesling
He means well, but planning is not his forte. He definitely picked this up at the Safeway on his way over. He once toured the vineyard with his mom when she was visiting from Indiana, and she really liked it, so it must be nice. He’s a sweet guy, but unless the number of dates you’ve been on can be counted on one hand, it’s time for him to step it up a notch. This gift is likely to come with a grocery store valentine, signed hastily in the car, and perhaps a few boxes of conversation hearts candy.
2Bar Spirits Moonshine
She's fun, and knows that you are too. This is the gift for someone that’s up for everything from hayrides to rolls in the hay—moonshine? Doesn’t that stuff make you go blind? Definitely open this one up right when it arrives: tonight’s the night to see where the hooch takes you. You can worry about what it means about the long-term future of the relationship when you see who drags his or her hangover out of bed for whom in the morning.
Two Beers Evolution IPA
He’s into beers. You’d better be too, since this gift is as much for him as it is for you. In fact, does it even count as a gift if he drinks four of them tonight while you make dinner? The good news is he’s got great taste: this is one of the city’s best beers, in a style emblematic of Northwest brewing. Turn the joke on him: sit down and enjoy them all yourself. Pour him a glass of white wine if he complains. Forget to cook dinner? Worry not; this has enough flavor and body to make up for the missed meal.
She’s ironic. She probably went to high school with Macklemore, and giggles when he wins a Grammy, saying, “I can’t believe little Ben Haggerty is all growed up!” Even though she hasn’t been a barista for a few years, the real test will be if she’ll still make artsy decorations in your latte foam in the morning.
Bottled Cocktails from Canon
Hoo-wee, this guy’s one to hold on to. But hold on tight, especially if you see a cop car, because these swanky bottled craft cocktails are only available at the world-class bar itself, so that means he’s broken a law or two to get those beautiful beverages over to you. Criminal, yes, but wouldn’t it also be a crime to have denied his wonderful lady-friend some of the prettiest and best tasting drinks in town?